split days

1. Mike doing both drop off AND pick up 

Thanksgiving travel is the worst and Mike graciously did both trips with the boys to Chicago.  On Friday night he drove in a miserable storm for the entire four hours while I visited with old friends.  This afternoon the trip is filled with stop and go traffic (he is still trying to get to the exit as I type).  I am supposed to be sleeping in order to work tonight but day sleeping is something that I miserably fail at (especially if I am required to sleep).  So though I laid down for over an hour I was never successful at sleeping.    Soooooooo....basically I should be the one is the terrible HOURS of traffic.  

2. Peaceful Thanksgiving

I think that it's safe to say that Mike and I love hosting Thanksgiving.  This year Rick and Connie came in from Columbus and since SBJ was the only kid our day was pretty relaxing.  I am so thankful for Mike.  He makes my soul smile and my life happy.  He is absolutely fabulous.  I am so grateful that he is the one who holds my hand.

Clearly my selfie game is TERRIBLE.  

The sangria was a HIT

The antipasti tray.  The picture doesn't do it justice....if I do say so myself.  haha

EASIEST way to cook a turkey!

FaceTiming with this crazy over the past week is the BEST

 3. Saturday morning with Shelby and Ezra
Going from seeing Shelby a few times a week to never seeing and catching up on life can be hard on the soul.  I jumped at the opportunity to spend time with her and Ezra at Urban Chalkboard on Saturday morning.  It was nice to catch up on life and spend time with our littles.  Obviously these two boys play on different sides of the room and usually we just talk about what is happening in the moment -- it was still wonderful to catch up.  Shelby knows me well and helps keep me in check.

Jack fell asleep on the way to get them.  Yes -- he is reading a book and holding a breadstick at 10am.

4. My job is getting better
I am liking my job SO MUCH MORE.  I think that after I took a few deep breaths, had a few tears and realized I needed to change my schedule around -- it started to get better.  My personal pep talks also started to include the fact that I am not responsible for the world and things don't change over night.  I am concentrating my efforts and energy on learning and growing in my leadership skills.

To be clear - this is still VERY challenging and throughout the entire time I am there I have to think...A LOT.  That's what I love.  So I am focusing my energy on the challenge.

5. I didn't punch any of my family in the face this morning
So...I started this blog on Sunday afternoon and I am finishing it up at 1am on Wednesday morning.  I just got home from work and I decided to have a small glass of wine before I went straight to bed.

Yesterday, I got home around 410am.  I was exhausted AND I knew I had to turn around and be back at work at 2pm.  As I was washing my face I could hear Jack flipping his light switch on and off (AT 4 AM!!!!) I went to him and sang a song, got him a milk and told his butt to go back to bed.  He was quiet until 515.  I had fallen asleep for 40 minutes but I quickly found myself back up and on the couch while he was wide awake.  I started to get pissed.  I was beyond tired, miserable, and hoping that the next 2 hours went smoothly.

For the most part they did.  I held my exhaustion at bay and started the morning routine but eventually -- closer to the 645 hour I could barely hold my shit together.  I needed sleep.  I wasn't in tears yet--I was still at the angry stage of sleep.  Once Mike he saw the distress he promptly sent me to bed and took the boys out the door.

Anyways -- I was miserable.  And right now .. I am miserable.  Looking forward to a few hours of sleep before the morning begins and then if necessary heading back to bed.

Two day work week

1. Short work week

My schedule is all over the place but this week it is pretty fabulous.  I am only working Monday and Tuesday evening.  I am starting to get more settled at CHN.  I have so much to learn and every day I am continuing to make progress -- even if it's painstakingly slow.  I am looking forward to spending LOTS of quality time with my family this weekend.  The boys are missed but I am excited that they will be here for our Christmas celebrations.

2. Family photos

This year we had Mer quickly take some photos for our family.  SBJ was a tired mess but overall things turned out ok.  Here are some of my favorites.  Clearly -- we can still not get everyone to look at the camera and smile BUT that's our life -- so I guess that is what we should document.  Grateful that Mer worked her magic.

I love this picture because it shows their personalities pretty well.  Cameron is my free spirit off in his own world, Jack is a bit bat shit crazy, and Owen prefers to be in charge and not have the shenanigans.

This is one of my favorites from the day.  Oh how my boys melt my heart.

3.  Amy Milligan
This lady makes me feel normal. She helps to validate that though I might be pretty intense -- it's ok.  Amy oriented me on MRO 9 years ago and since then she has consistently been a sounding board for me.  I can vent, ask style advice, or just BE with her.  Monday her and Charlotte came over first thing in the morning to catch up.  I think that these playdates need to happen a LOT more.  We talked for few hours and followed the kids from room to room while they played.  When she left I felt more secure in who I was and in the decisions that I make about life.  I also feel pretty excited about having her help with ideas for my future kitchen remodel.  I am so thankful for my friendship with Amy.

4. Christmas shopping....getting done
We have almost all of our Christmas shopping for the boys completed.  Now I need to work on ideas for the relatives.  Grateful that we not only have most of this marked off our "TO-DO" list but grateful that we have the ability to buy gifts and not stress or worry.

5.  The twins are continuing to learn to write
Most things come home written in spanish but I absolutely love the work that comes home in English.  I am sure that they are slightly behind the normal first grader but I don't mind.  On Friday this came home with Cameron.  I now get how parents have boxes of their child's work.  ....Don't worry -- I don't -- but I get it.

A car ride out of here

Right now at my new job I feel like I have walked into a crumbling city and bricks are falling all around me.  My job is to keep them up....but most of the bricks are already at the ground.  Tonight, 2 more of my night shift turned in their notice.  Two of my highest performers.  Clearly these staff members have been applying and interviewing before I even stepped onto the scene...but still...holy hell.   

I have started to just ask people -- are you looking for a new job too?  As people continue to leave...it's going to get worse. It's just the nature of it.  We don't have any people -- and now we will have less.  

I remind myself that I craved a challenge.  I was eager for something new and different.  I wanted to work hard and prove that I was excellent.  

It was like the universe said, "challenge accepted.  good luck."  

1. The Thanksgiving tradition continues
Every year since we have the boys right now why they love and are thankful for all of the members of our family.  We make turkey handprints and do individual notes.  When the boys were little I was the one who wrote out why I was thankful....and so the tradition continues.  As you can imagine it takes a lot of work to wrangle young boys into this task but it warms my heart every year as I sit down and write their words out.  I love to watch them think of the different reasons that make us all special and unique.  I know that this item makes the blog every year -- but every year it really makes me happy.

Just the start....Jack ended up being red this year!

 2. Weekend with my boys
This past weekend Mike traveled back to Columbus to hunt on the Jarrett's land.  He is absolutely obsessed.  That meant that I was home with all of the littles hanging out in our pajamas.  When it's just the 4 of us I love staying home and having NOTHING on the To-Do list.  Overall this weekend lived up to the fabulousness. I stayed in my sweatpants and the kids were mainly in their pajamas and everyone was happy.

3. Jack's obsession with Nash
This weekend Jack was following Nash around because he just loves being next to him.  In good old Nash fashion...he would rather NOT be next to Jack but luckily for a few short minutes he is a good sport.  Within a few minutes he trots over to the other side of the room, hoping to observe the shenanigans of our home and not be bothered.  A few minutes later Jack notices that his best friend is missing so he waddles over and sits down next to him again.  This cycle happens over and over all around the living room.

4. Lunch at school
With my new schedule I am going to try and have lunch with the boys every other week.  They love  having me at school (since they are only in first grade) and my heart is absolutely exploding when I am there.  To say that I am proud of these two and proud to be their mom is an absolute understatement.  It is clear that they are successful in their studies, they have lots and lots of friends and they are insanely happy.  Oh -- and these two are the goofiest kids EVER while I am there.  It is like they are literally bouncing off the walls.  (Maybe they are just relieved it's lunch time and they can speak English!!)

5.  Bucket list updates

So....here are a few updates and happenings in my personal bucket list agenda.  .....I signed up for a 70.3.  Holy moly -- Mike told me last night that if I don't train that he will nix this idea and not let me kill myself on the course.  So there's that.    We are going to Hawaii in March.  -- the tickets are not actually booked BUT it will be happening. I just can't decide on a hotel or airbnb.  Our house just got refinanced to a 10 year loan ---- closer and closer to living debt free.  **THOUGH I know that debt free might not be the smartest way to go -- still have lots to learn in that area**

6. Pep talks and positive attitudes

I know that frequent pep talks and daily positive/beast mode attitudes is the way to go.  I know this to be true.  It's been a little rough lately and the new job -- but I plan to do LOTS of self talk and motivation to get me through the next 10 hours tomorrow.  Grateful that I know that pep talks work and I know that positivity grows success.

7. Smiling with Jack this morning

I must of woke Jack up this morning when I walked in the door at 430  I am still not sure how he woke up since I thought I was SUPER quiet but regardless...he was awake.  He never fell back asleep and though I held him and rocked him....I knew he was a lot like his mom. Once he's up -- he's up.  I must admit, the best thing that has happened to me in the past few hours was holding him and smiling with him when he realized he was getting up for the morning.  I would absolutely love to go to bed but I guess sitting up with my littlest as he watches Mickey and begs for milk is the next best alternative. 

Small but mighty

1.  The tooth fairy was successful....barely.

So the most stressful thing that has happened in the past week has been trying to fill the role of tooth fairy.  Usually Mike takes on this task because it freaks me out.  Well last night Cameron was up late chillin' in bed so I stayed up to play the part.  Yikes. It stressed me out.  I even woke Owen up because I thought that the tooth was in his hand!!!!  It was almost a tooth fairy fail but I survived and Owen woke up happy with an extra dollar this morning!

 2. Owen's obsession with the pencil sharpener
Clearly he takes after his mom....this is something that I would of LOVED in first grade.  He plugs in the pencil sharpener in the bathroom and makes sure that all pencils...colored AND regular....are up to par.  **I just got this over a month ago for free -- the obsession hasn't died yet.**

 3. Cam Guire
This is Cameron's new signature and I LOVE it.  The other night he left these notes everywhere which also crack me up.  He is the best.

4. Watching the election in Spanish
I am not even going to discuss the election results except to say that Owen was crushed that Hilary didn't win.  Either way, Mike caught all three boys watching the election results in Spanish.  The twins were so happy that Jack was actually watching it with them.

5. New washer and dryer
Yup -- you read that correctly.  Right now I am sitting and waiting for our new washer and dryer to be delivered.  I purchased the old ones in 2005 with Greg.  I am SOOOO glad to get this messed up washing machine out of my house.  We have to bang on it in order for it to work before every. single. cycle.  It get's old and we have been doing that for years.  With Mike's business AND a house full of boys we do LOTS of laundry.  At the very least it is run twice a day.  Thank you Pat!!!

A bit of crazy

1. Going on to nights

I decided that I need to write out the thing that has been on my mind the most this weekend.  Tonight I am going back to night shift.  Right now it is 6 am and I am WIDE awake.  I am wide awake because I love mornings.  I would 100% consider myself a day person.  I decided instead of trying to will myself back to sleep this morning I decided that I would get up and tackle some of the day without coffee.  Hopefully that will make it easier to take a nap and then eventually deal with the task at hand ....staying up all night.

The good thing -- On Friday, I had the first day where I really liked my job.  The day before I cried at work feeling SO INSANELY FRUSTRATED.  (Don't judge--my office door was shut).  But Friday I stayed busy, held my own, and made decisions.  I am excited that tonight I have a long list of things to do and one of them has proven to be super challenging.  Though this whole night thing adds a bit of crazy to the mix I am looking forward to seeing how it all rolls.

2.  Cameron's strange, wonderful style.

Yesterday Mike took the boys in the morning to Toys R Us to look at Christmas present ideas.  He usually takes them somewhere on Saturday morning so they all get out of the house and give me some peace (it's pretty wonderful). This is what cameron wore.  For those of you who can't fully see -- he is wearing black sweatpants, red tennis shoes, and orange and grey stripped waffle shirt and an orange and blue checkered bow tie.  

Then everyone wanted to get in on the picture.......

 3. Crocs
A bit more about our outfits around here.

When the boys were little Aunt Erin introduced us to the world of crocs.  She purchased them for Christmas when they were 3.  Those shoes lasted YEARS.  Yes -- yearS.  We are now onto our second pair, Jack has a pair already ......we love crocs in our house.  They slide on super quick and make summer super easy.  Anyways, these two shoes were in the hallway this weekend and they reminded me of Erin.  I don't think that Crocs have ever made our list but holy moly -- for our three boys they are WONDERFUL.

 4. Rouzer
Could this list really exist without a mention of my husband every now and then?!  He requests that he make an appearance every entry (and honestly -- I am grateful for his cray cray ass EVERY.SINGLE.DAY).

Anyways, Thursday we went on a date to Mitchell's (the day I cried at work) and then last night the kids were gone so we went out again.  What?!!??  I know--it was crazy.  We are so wild.  I have been fighting a fucking sinus infection all week.  **Sorry to swear but I needed to say how I really felt about it** I have never had a sinus infection before and this is miserable.

Back to the point -- I am basically a hot mess and I want to be in pajamas and do nothing all evening. So we went to look at a new washer and dryer, picked up an antibiotic (THANK YOU KARA), had 2 beers at Bier, and then headed to Blind Owl for dinner and gaming.  The dinner was not good. At all. BUT I kicked Mike's ass at Bocce Ball.  I had so much fun playing laughing with him.  (yes--we were actually outside playing in the first week of November!)  And obviously, so much fun winning.  Once we got home I actually fell asleep on the couch during the movie (which is super rare -- usually I take my tired ass to bed to pass out).  

I love this picture because how he is looking at me.  I don't remember exactly but I am sure he is telling me that I smell or making fun of me in some way.  Clearly I am laughing but trying to ignore him.  

Yes -- our night out included no makeup, yoga pants, and matching shirt colors. 

One more thing that must be mentioned.  I think that the picture speaks for itself.

5. Owen is SUPER smart
So this kid has been impressive.  For example, last week I received a note that Owen has passed the first grade on Lexia (a reading program at school).  His math knowledge is insane.  They are learning basic addition and subtraction at school but if I ask what is 5x5 or 4x2 -- he figures it out!  He is also doing those addition and subtractions pretty quickly in his head.  Maybe he is just a tad better at math than Cameron...but still....I am impressed with his skills!

Campfires

1. Still cancer free

I must say that I am BLOWN OVER by these results.  Strangely enough, my mom continues to have scans for random ass things, but those scans will state that she probably has bone mets.  After more testing it is found that she doesn't.  That is exactly what happened this past week.  Hmmmm...I know that it sounds like a bit of funny business but after talking with Dr A for almost hour I feel way more comfortable.  Cheers to the good news.

2. Halloween

The weather this year could not of been more perfect.  The boys were able to wear their costumes without any extra coats or gloves -- that alone is a win in my book.  We started the night with the neighbors and all of the kids loved running house to house.  (Jack and Jude were a tad bit behind)  After we broke apart from the Paschals, Cameron decided that he was done running too so Owen and I went off on our own.  It was so fun to watch him and spend a few extra minutes alone.  Personally, I was smiles from ear to ear.  I love going trick or treating with the littles.

3. Family Pictures
We finally had Mer take our pictures last Sunday.  Jack was a hot mess and actually fell asleep for his second nap on the way home.  Mer is inspiring, hard working and easy to be around.  I am looking forward to the finished product. It was also great to show Mike a little bit of Butler.

4. No one was seriously injured
This weekend we had a fire going from Friday night until Monday morning.  What?!?  It was still smoldering when we woke up on Saturday so we decided to just keep it going. Then as the weekend  progressed the boys decided that they wanted to play with the fire so they kept it going all day Sunday.  On Saturday night we even ended up pulling out our camping cookware and made dinner over the fire again.  It was perfect weather this weekend and everyone had a blast.

5. Homemade meals
There is a HUGE list of everything wonderful that my parents contribute to this world.  HUGE.  I could go on forever and ever about how they pick up the boys after school many days, they are always on the other end of the line when we need them and last week when we were all sick they helped us with childcare (always last minute).  So one of their most recent moments came last week  when my mom brought over bags of freezer, crock pot meals.  Yesterday I threw one into the crockpot and dinner was PERFECT when I finally got home from work.  It was insanely easy and the boys even liked it! (double win)  Jack still refuses to eat most dinners but that is an entirely different story.  Basically my parents are pretty awesome.