troubles

1.  Instagram inspiration

This morning I was searching on Instagram to help me get a little bit of Monday motivation.  I found this gem and it really resonated with me.  I am in direct control of my thoughts my attitude and my world.

2. Lake House Love
This weekend our neighbors delivered some AMAZING donuts to our house welcoming us to the lake.  These small gestures of kindness really go a long way.  I hope one day I can grow up like them!

3. Donuts with dad
We carried on our annual Father's Day tradition of donuts.  The bakery from above was closed on Sundays so we ended up getting donuts from Walmart.  Everyone still had full bellies and happy hearts.

4. The new boat
Mike purchased a boat this week.  It was not new but it is new to us.  This weekend was an adventure trying to get the boat in and out of the water.  Even driving the boat on my own was outside my comfort zone.  We ended up having a great weekend and the boys had a BLAST tubing back and forth and back and forth.  The reason that I wanted this lake house was to have these memories.  So so grateful.  After a day in the hot ass sun we played a mean game of Uno and then finished the night off with a dance party.  Can it get any better?

5.  The ability of sleep to refresh your mind
I think that it is clear that sleeping can help SO MANY THINGS.  I am grateful that there is an easy (semi-easy) way to ease a troubled mind.

Tuesday afternoon

1.  Spending time with family

At my grandpa's funeral I was so happy that I was able to spend so much time with my family.  Though my grandpa leaves a huge absence, my heart was absolutely full.  When it was 8 or 9 in Valpo I still didn't want to leave.  Mike suggested that he head home and I would stay back to spend more time.  I ended staying up until 3 am just talking with my grandma and cousins from Australia and SanFran.  Needless to say I was absolutely exhausted the next day but so freaking grateful I stayed.  Cheers to you grandpa.

My aunt told me I MUST write this down:  The immediate family went to the grave site before the celebration of life.  After we were finished at the grave site we packed back into the car before heading to the funeral home.  As Mike was buckling Jack in he said, "Was that it?  Did we come here just to see the hole in the ground?" 

2.  The next day

Jack and I both fell asleep on the couch Sunday afternoon while Mike also was sleeping before work.  It was nice to have some extra moments of shut eye.  Also, I did NOTHING around the house which makes it for an easy Sunday as well. 

3. Family SONG

Last night on the way home from yoga the boys started breaking out in song.  We were walking to the car and Jack started to sing his new favorite song - the shark song.  All of a sudden the twins joined in with hand movements and all.  We all smiled and laughed all the way to the car. 

4.  Hugs at daycare

At the end of the day when I pick up Jack from daycare I get about 10,000 hugs.  I get down to give him a huge hug and kiss and then most of the kids head my way to play with my hair, tell me about their day and give me a million more hugs.  It's one of my favorite parts of my day.

5. Morning Workout

Basically - I am grateful that I got my ass out of bed. I've really been struggling but today was a good day.  The workout kicked my ass and I am super glad I went.

repeats

1. the day off

Since my grandpa's funeral is tomorrow I decided to take the day off to regroup, reconnect with myself and try to get my shit together.  At least a little bit.  I freaking LOVE having the day off.  Don't get me wrong - I do like my role at work.  I am learning so much on a daily basis.  I am continually failing, learning, failing, learning .....it's INSANE that I have been there for almost a year.  It feels like I have years to still try to learn and get into a groove.  Regardless, being able to go to the gym, run errands and not put makeup on is heavenly.  

2. My husband

He gets shout outs pretty frequently on this blog but not enough.  He is such a great man.  I am so grateful that he is my husband.  He is honest, funny, dependable, passionate and continual tries to keep me focused on my goals.  He is also patient with me and gives me enormous amounts of grace. 

3.  Dr. Kara
Again.  So grateful for Kara.  Last week I noticed a bite at the base of Jack's hairline.  I thought it was a tick bite since we had spent so much time at the cabin so I snapped a picture to send off to Mike.  When I took a moment to see the picture all I could notice was is HUGE lymph node.  (that picture is not shown here)  I decided to send it off to Kara to see what she thought.  She agreed -- it was huge.  BUT since he had the ugly bite on his neck she felt assured it was reactive.  Yesterday morning I snapped another picture.  She thought it would be best if I come in.  WHAT?!!??!!  I was shocked that she said this so I made an appointment for that afternoon.  We measured the sucker and started antibiotics.  Now we are watching for about 8 weeks while it slowly goes down.

3. Lifetime Pool
Yup.  A third repeat.  This year the twins are allowed to swim in the people WITHOUT me.  I still want them to become better swimmers but holy hell this is a big step.  To top it off I was able to get a few runs down the water slide while Jack was in swim lessons.

4.  Goals
I am a huge goal person.  I find enjoyment in not only achieving but in the journey.  It makes me feel strong, successful and confident.  ALL great feelings to enjoy.  Right now I am really struggling with my goals.  It has been extremely taxing in my own brain trying to figure out how to tackle it all and what is important and what's not.  I am to the point where I am going to go back to my bucket list and start there thought that too changes.

Grateful that I have goals. Grateful that I struggle.  Grateful that I know ONE day....I'll figure it out.

5.  The boys

Last night before I went to sleep I ran across a story of an Indianapolis family whose 3 year old son Jack drown in the pool on their vacation.  It happened this week.  It was haunting and my heart raced until I was able to fall asleep.  It is an extremely terrible reminder that life is short.  It made me want to yank my sweet Jack out of bed and give him a few extra hugs.  It was a reminder that the promise of chocolate milk in the morning is ok and the hours and hours of hearing Owen talk is pure joy.  It reminded me that Cameron has the sweetest soul on this earth and how shows empathy like no one else I have met in my life.  

Nap time

1. The last day of school

The boys are now in THIRD grade.  Per usual I am grateful for their school.  Right now I am SO grateful that the boys are out of school for the summer.  All the lounging in the morning makes my morning so. much. easier.  Can it always be summer?

2. Jack is always laughing
This child of mine is constantly giggling and trying to make other people laugh.  Constantly.

3. The deck
Here are some before/progress pictures from the outside of our lake house.  Holy moly this project has truly been a labor of love.  And I don't think it is a current love - it is the type of love that happens in the future.  We think we will be in love with this house in a few months SOOOO we are putting in some work today.

oh...and Mike officially picked out a boat.  Now we need a name.

4. Nap time lunch
I have had a MISERABLE cold recently.  MISERABLE. I have been sluggish, achy, I can't breathe, I feel like I have the flu.  I'm still at work because I don't have the flu.  I have a COLD.  But today I decided to go home during lunch and take a nap.  It was HEAVENLY.  I did not want to get up and come back to work. It is beautiful outside and I had an extremely hard time peeling my butt up to get back into work.

5.  Clean House
My house is CLEAN.  Mike was busy vacuuming away when I came home from my nap.  It was nice and airy and heavenly.  He is the best.

He was looking so old this morning. 

June

1.  Rouzer

 I think that he will be floored to see that I finally posted again.  He continues to ask and finally I decided to sit down and write.  Per usual, the month of May has hit pretty hard and I am excited to get my shit back together and kick the rest of the year in the ass. 

Cheers to my fabulous husband who always takes care of me, doesn't judge my shenanigans and helps encourage me in all my crazy endeavors. 

2. Grandpa

On Wednesday I was able to leave work after a few morning meetings and head back up to Valpo to be with my grandparents.  After 2 hours of being there my grandfather passed away.  I don't have many words to say about this experience but what I DO know is that I am so freaking grateful for him and grateful that I was able to say goodbye.

3. The Lake House
This little shack is REALLY making some progress.  We were able to go down yesterday morning after the boys baseball game.  It has been so fun to play outside all day and spend time with each other.  I must say -- I could do without the fighting but usually once we are in the water there are very little complaints.

4. The neighbors
I am not sure I can say anymore wonderful things about our neighbors.  I love that we have so many littles on our street AND Mandy just brought Grace home today.  Not only do we have great people but Michael and Rhonda are adding a POOL.  So basically we are in heaven.

5. I started working out again.
I hope that this becomes a little more routine in my life and turns into a MUST and not a SHOULD.  (Yes - I listen to a LOT of Tony Robbins).

Seven

1. Camp Out

The spring camp out was last night.  Jack and I TRIED to go.  We honestly had stuff there to spend the night in the 40 degree weather but when push came to shove at 730pm and the campfire had not officially started yet Mike and I both felt that Jack's melt down was only going to get worse.  Thankfully camping makes Mike's heart beat so he had it all together.  Even though I was only able to stay for 4 hours I was so grateful to get some fresh air, go on a crazy hike with second graders and enjoy the day.  

So freaking grateful that Mike does this with the twins.  They are absolutely OBSESSED.

Making the decision to leave.

2. Little league has started
We made it through our first official game.  And won!  Let me tell you...watching your kids get up to bat or making a play gets a bit stressful.  Jack slept the entire time which was heavenly because I was able to fully watch the ENTIRE game.

 3.  Jack's surgery went smoothly
On Thursday Jack needed to have surgery on his tear duct.  Per usual he was a CHAMP.  We were in and out in 3 hours and then had the rest of the day to spend together.  We prepped him the night before with nothing to eat or drink when he woke up.  He didn't have a preop time until 7am so I knew it could be challenging at our 545am wake up call.  He did ok - just asking for milk a few times.  When he woke up I was expecting him to ask for the chocolate milk and cookie I promised.  (which he was also not allowed to have right away) but instead he was requesting a treasure chest.  Once we got back home Mike made his way back out to purchase the promised chocolate milk and a new PJ mask toy.

4. Spending the day at home
The day of Jack's surgery was heavenly.  I spent the morning with Mike waiting with Jack, took a two hour afternoon nap and then spent the rest of the afternoon running errands with SBJ in the sunshine.  It REALLY made me miss being at home with the boys at this age.  I really struggled at work on Friday and I am still struggling this weekend.  I hope that I am making wise choices.

 5. Work
Even though I am struggling with the fact that I am going to work everyday - I am very blessed with a strong team.  This week we were recognized for top patient satisfaction scores in the country.  Cheers!

6. Jenna was in town

I was able to visit with Jenna TWICE on this visit.  I am so grateful that these women are in my life.  Everyone is 100% completely different and I love spending time with them.  Last weekend when I was at Kara's it made me miss my own sister and the ease of our relationship but I am happy that I am still able to find women my own age to help me grow and give me support.

 7. Bean Sprouts
This has been our latest side project and we love the results.  Now we are busting at the seam with bean sprouts.  I need to point out - I purchased the materials and took this picture but Mike has done ALL of the work.  Per usual.

Today

1. Lunch with Mike

I have been in a funk lately.  I had no meetings for the ENTIRE day so I thought Mike and I should go to lunch.  It is FINALLY sunny and getting out of the office for a bit really helped to break up my day.  It was so great to sit and chat.  And eat TONS of food.

2. Sequence at 6am

SBJ asked Mike to play his favorite game this morning.  It was great because I was able to get ready in peace and then Mike was up and made the boys eggs for breakfast.  We played music and Owen initiated a short dance with me.  Good morning. 

3. Our current experience
I purchased this set on Amazon and Mike took charge of the growing.  I am excited for sprouts in a few days.  We love watching stuff like this.  It reminds me of the Ant Farm.

3. Brothers
Do I even have to say it?  The twins are fighting a bit more and always someone seems to be left out lately BUT overall they still love the hell out of each other.

4. Swim lessons
Sitting at the gym for an hour on Wednesday nights is not my type of fun but I am so grateful that all of the boys are back in lessons.

5. Having an office
Right now I am grateful that I am able to sit in my office, listen to music and have a bit of my own space.