Taxes. Done.

1. Mike is home

I think that my stress and anxiety went down about 8 million percent.  I don't know if it is my pregnancy hormones, extreme uncomfortableness, my love for my husband or just simple irritability that he seems to make disappear but I am so grateful that Mike is home for a few weeks.  My plan is to build up some mental and emotional strength so that when he leaves after Jack is born I don't completely lose my shit.  But as for now I am just like a little puppy that follows him around and smiles.

Yesterday morning we sent Mike some pictures before we headed off to school.  Mike had picked these new tops out at Target the last time that he was home and the boys were in love.  They requested pants with pockets (but Cameron only wanted comfy pants).  I think that Owen looks so small compared to Cameron in this picture and Mike thinks that Cameron looks like Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad.

2. Goals
This week we finally made our 100 mile sign.  It is up in our house and we plan on going to Chucky Cheese when we complete the goal.

 This is how we role in our house....we are reusing the back of an old packaging to make our new sign.  It made the markers run a bit but it still turned out great.

I have another goal for the month of Feb. I want the boys to learn 911, our address, my phone number, Mike's phone number and how to make a call on each cell phone.  This week we went over 911 before bed time.  It was a LOT of information about emergencies, what consisted of an emergency, and all the steps of making a call on the cell phone.  I am watching Owen as we are talking and I can see the tears welling up in his eyes.  I asked him what was wrong and the tears started flowing and he got into my lap with his arms around me.

He was nervous about making a mistake and not remembering all the steps during an emergency.  He was overwhelmed.  We reminded him that he knows how to write his name, knows his birthday, and that he had to learn these things and we will go over it and over it.  He just doesn't want to mess up.  So sensitive and so sweet.  During this short lesson Cameron was doing somersaults and playing in the blankets.  Within 24 hours they both had it memorized.

3. Art
It used to be Owen who was obsessed with coloring.  He will still do it at home but it is rare when I bring stuff home from school.  Cameron on the other hand chooses to do art every single day.  I would say that on average I bring home 7-8 sheets of paper from his cubby.  He makes costumes, birthday party decorations, and lots of superheros and notes.  Right now we have a net that he cut up and taped all together in our house.  It is taped up in the dining room and the button that he made is in the kitchen.  If you push the button the net will catch someone.

Most of their art is for other people.  These are the two main projects from Thursday.

 This is a lego man that Cameron made for Mike.

4. "That is creepy"

I have sang a song to the boys since they were newborns.  It has sort of fallen off the list of regulars but it still gets thrown back in to the mix every now and then.  

About 6-8 months ago when I was singing this song Cameron stopped me in the middle and said, "that is creepy mom."  When I sang the song this week he said it again.  

....There's a kite called a theta kite

made of golden light and shadows

spun by the stars, in my room last night....

That was the creepy part.  Something being in his room at night.

He is right.  That would be creepy.

5.  Taxes

My taxes are done.  Boom.

I was a bit nervous to do the taxes this year.  In April of 2014 I noticed that I was not having ANY federal taxes taken out of my check.  Zero.  I flipped and immediately contacted HR.  The day that it was supposed to be fixed was the day of my mom's mastectomy which came with devastating news.  I completely forgot to look at my paycheck.  The following paycheck was on the 16th and my sisters accident was on the 17th so again it was not on my mind.  Not even close.  Then the summer happened, our trip to Europe, and now we are back to our new normal in August and September.  I don't remember when I finally looked again but when I did, I realized that it was never fixed.  Ahhh!!! Well it was finally fixed.  I am now having taxes taken out of my pay.  And I am grateful to say that yesterday morning I did the taxes and we don't owe any money!!  Our refund is not as luxurious as previous years but it is still pretty awesome.  Actually, I am sure that Rick would still want us to pay less tax throughout the year.  I on the other hand am not going to bring it up to him.  I like the little extra money every year.  It helps me accomplish some goals and pay for our Colts tickets.  Yay to taxes being done!!!

This is our grocery list that I sent to Mike so he could grab stuff before he got home.  I just wanted to document our simple life.  Grateful for smart phones that lets me take a picture and send it to him.  So. Easy.

Legos

I think a lot about WRITING the blog...it just seems to be hard to sit down and do it.  Usually at night I write in my head and certain that I will be profound in my writing the next day, maybe even BEFORE the boys wake up.  I am usually up extremely early due to my early bedtime and pregnancy insomnia but I spend the time still just laying in my slumber...wasting time.  So though I drag my feet to post at night (and usually skip it all together) I remind myself of the importance of this personal journal.  

Last night while I was laying in bed I decided that I should be more "real."  To not just sugar coat everything but document the struggles of the day and the struggles of parenthood.  Then I realized that though it is possible to document the hard, I still want to make sure I stay positive and highlight 5 small things that make me grateful for the day.  

1. Much MUCH better today

Yesterday I started off rough.  I am not exactly sure what happened but I woke up in a lot of back pain.  I had a scheduled trip to the chiropractor (holy hell--I am a believer) and though I felt better I think that the torture they put my body through made me not be able to get a handle on the day.  My blood pressure was high all day, I was contracting, I was sweating and I was miserable.  My parents helped me with dinner (by that I mean that they did everything) and then I was able to sit for the last hour of the night as the boys played.  I put them to bed and then immediately put myself to bed.  Today I woke up a new woman.  I have been feeling great almost the entire day.  Work went smoothly and I didn't hit a wall until this evening.  

2. Shouting to Jack

Last night during songs Cameron looked at me and said, "When is Jackjack coming?"  I said "I don't know I hope soon."  He said, "Well mom, if you open your mouth I can scream to him and tell him to come out."  So he did.  And then Owen followed.  It didn't work.  Jack is still in my belly.  

3. Last day of work!

Tomorrow is my last day of work.  Don't get me wrong, staying home every day is LOTS AND LOTS of work. LOTS.  I only work three days a week right now in a pretty easy, wonderful job but I am still so freaking happy to be done tomorrow.  

4. Playmates

Having each other to play with has been extremely helpful these past few weeks.  I am lucky that they keep themselves entertained and have created games to play with each other.  I snapped this shot tonight.  They are not usually this "close" but pretty much they don't leave each other's side.  

5. Legos

I think I already commented on legos in the blog but I have to mention it again.  If I had the money I would continue to buy and buy sets of legos.  Not only do they LOVE to build and it keeps them busy for hours but you can actually see how awesome it is for their growth and development.  This weekend we decided to buy them a set to try and keep them busy for  few hours.  It worked.  They picked out one together that was for 7-14 year olds.  They work together the entire time taking turns and helping each other out.  If something wasn't working they would bring me the pieces and ask advice.  Usually they had done a few previous steps wrong and they would have to do it all over but they never minded.  They had a great time.  It builds their friendship and teaches them teamwork.  They are so good when they are playing legos together that at times seems like a miracle.  

Unlike when we were children and just built things that we created in our mind... they actually like having the books and building the items, taking them apart and building again.  They also love playing with the objects and the men after it is put together.  I am majorly impressed.  

**In this shot I told the boys to open their eyes really wide.**

98 miles left

1.  The day is almost over.

It hasn't been my strongest month.  I have cried many nights and I have been anxious for the next day.  I am struggling in the last month of my pregnancy and with Mike out of town it really makes me miss Erin.  She was always there to bounce off of and share motherhood together.  And since now I find myself struggling through it alone I wish she was here to do playdates, answer texts, or plainly tell me to buck up.  Today when Mike left to go to Columbus the tears just started flowing again.  I only have 5 more nights without him here and then he will be home for a few weeks but goodness sakes it feels like forever.  My 38 week pregnant body is so over it....SO. OVER. IT.

But today, today is almost over.  And today was a good day.  I gave myself a pep talk this morning and actually got some things accomplished.    We got the boys a new lego activity that has kept them busy for hours (and hopefully hours tomorrow).  I have also been able to do laundry, vacuum the house, and keep things in order.  We did baths, I actually MADE dinner, and Owen took a nap.  This picture below is Cameron working on his legos during nap time.  

A collection of Mike's socks from the laundry today.

I only have 11 sleeps left.  5 sleeps without Mike.  3 more days of work.  I absolutely hate counting down my life but goodness it is what keeps me on the right track these days.     

2. My parents
This week they have helped to keep us entertained and me sane.  We had steaks there on Tuesday night, dinner at the Harris house on Wednesday, and then the boys wanted to go straight to their house after school on Thursday to play with legos.  My mom also took me out for a much needed and long over due pedicure on Tuesday afternoon. They have made it so that I had very little dishes to do this week and have made my evenings much smoother.

3. Habachi Dinner
Last night we took the boys to Tomo and experienced their first Habachi dinner.  They were great and used great manners.

4. Cable
This week we officially got rid of our home phone and now we have cable again.  I will say I was MUCH more excited for the transition than I should of been.  I have had cable since Thursday evening and...I wasn't missing much.  I do love episodes of Rehab Addict while I fold laundry but so far...that is it.  Mike is at the All Star Hockey Game in Columbus this weekend and sitting behind the goal so he called and asked me to tape the event.  Maybe he will be on TV so that will be fun too.  But really........cable is still pretty lame.  I have a feeling after maternity leave I will again, be getting rid of cable all together.

5. New Camera
Mike has done some research while on the road and this week we purchased a new camera.  He was home for less than 24 hours to try it out but he has still had fun learning, taking pictures, and using the new remote.  I am personally excited for his new hobby.  I know that this is an odd way to look at it, but I am happy that the boys have this example in their lives.  That they are able to see an adult enjoy something that he works at and makes him happy.  Writing it all out it doesn't make much sense...but trust me, in my head, I know what I am talking about.

 One day this week before school.  I was shutting the house down before we left and the boys were watching the iPad in the dark.  

SIDE NOTE:  Cameron just came out for a drink and asked what I was typing up.  

M: "I am doing the blog."

C: "What is a blog?"

M: "It's like a diary of what we did today."

C: eyes really big and a big smile..."Like legos."

M: "Yup.  Now go to bed."

Then Owen came out of the bedroom and started....

O: "What were you just talking about with Cameron and Legos?"

...so I repeated the entire conversation...

O: "Are you upset?"

M: "I am starting to get frustrated, yes.  You need to go to bed.  Would you like a drink of water?"

O: takes water.  gives me a kiss and a smile.

Owen walks back into his room and says, "Cameron, mom is starting to get frustrated, we have to stay in bed."

They are still just talking away.  But at least they are in bed.

6. Emotional Eater

I am not grateful for the fact that I AM an emotional eater.  I am grateful for the fact that I KNOW that I am an emotional eater.  And this Thursday I purchased some Penn Station with some money that we made off of a ruler and it was AMAZING.  

  

7. Resolution Update
We rode 2 of our 100 mile bike ride.  Tomorrow one of my FEW goals is to make a 100 mile chart so we can knock off some miles and the boys can see their progress.

Looking back I realize now that I should of made the boys wear sweatshirts and gloves that afternoon.  By the end their hands were FREEZING and Cameron was miserable.  Owen on the other hand is a competitive beast and could probably bike all 100 miles in a day.  Instead we turned back early and I coached a crying Cameron the last quarter of a mile home.

In this last picture I don't know if you can see Owen WAAAYYY up ahead.  At one point during the ride I even had to run with Nash to catch up with the boys.  Yes, a huge, 9 month pregnant lady running after bikes.  I am sure it was a sight to see.

15 more sleeps

1. Easy night

Eloise didn't go to ballet yesterday therefore I was able to spend the night relaxing with these two boys.  They deserve a HUGE shout out because they were GREAT.  They used excellent manners, they followed instruction, they played well together and individually, and they ate all of their dinner.  They even both smiled at the camera for the picture.  It was a great night.

2. Time Hop
So here are two recent gems from TimeHop.  This is an app that shows you what you were tagged in over the years or things that you posted on social media.  I was tagged in these two photos.

The first one was a great night.  My dad drove me to and dropped me off at this party so I could drink.  It was pretty strange and felt like I was back in middle school.  This picture makes me miss my long hair.  It will be coming back!

 I was tagged in this picture 6 years ago.  The picture was actually taken in the halls of Fall Creek Valley Middle School.  I thought that this picture was great because Patty (on the bottom) and Catherine (on the top) are the two ladies that I do book club with.  Which by the way -- grateful for book club!!

3. The weekend
We seem to live them up these days.  Mike came back from SouthBend and the boys were in Chicago so we tried to induce labor.  Lots of walking and spicy food.  It didn't help.  I still have a HUGE and uncomfortable baby in my belly.  Today, I only have 15 more sleeps until I get to old Jack in my arms.

4. Coffee
Don't judge.  Right now my favorite is a coconut mocha with samoa creamer.  Then I add whip cream.  (And yes---when I add the whip cream I act like I am doing it for the extra calcium.)  I have issues.

5. Dryer fixed
Yesterday morning before work I went to throw a load of laundry into the dryer (that had been working all weekend).  Well it was not turning on and not working.  I called my dad from work and asked if he could take a look at it.  In his magical powers sort of way he fixed it and it is currently drying our laundry.  So grateful for my dad.  And grateful for a dryer.

And the gifts continue.  I am so in love with his generosity and amazing heart.  I also love his artistic personality.  He makes gifts every day for other people and never wants or expects anything in return.  It is just a part of who he is.  So. In. Love.

The four Boys

1. One fish. One frog.

You would think something as simple as a fish should be SUPER easy for me.  I am the one who suggested it to Brian and Lauren for Christmas gifts.  For some reason it has been insanely difficult.  First, Owen picked out a sick fish -- we should not of let him get it but he wanted a "baby" fish.  Mike and I both looked at each other and knew it wouldn't last long.  It didn't.  So when they went back to get another fish the three boys purchased a new tank with filter and whatnot (to supposedly make it easier) AND they purchased a fish and a second frog.  Mike got it all set up for us before he left on Monday and then Tuesday night I realized a frog was missing.... It was sticking out of the filter.  Holy hell.  As I tried to get it out of the filter, the filter broke and I could not easily get back together (even with the use of FaceTime).  Eventually I got it all back together.  There were only a few fake tears from Cameron (we decided it was his frog).  This all took place during our normal bedtime routine.  Crazy night.  If you look in the picture the little guys face is sticking out of the filter.  The rest of his body was missing.  Awesome.

I am proud to say that both the remaining fish and frog have lasted a few days.  I think we might be on a roll.

2. My challenge

Owen has been my challenge recently.  He is an intricate 5 year old boy and I am not sure what we should do or how we can help him grow.  Tonight he got upset and tore a piece of the lego ship apart. It was nothing major but we couldn't figure out how to put it back together.  Then he cried for 30 minutes.  Clearly he was exhausted and eventually I stopped talking and just made him go to bed.  But he still is challenging to me.  I don't know what discipline is appropriate and what type of affirmation and guidance is appropriate.  Right now I just feel like I am fumbling in the dark with him and hope we both get to the other side unharmed.

I want to note that he isn't like this all the time.  A few minutes before he was dancing and eating raw string beans in the kitchen while I did the dishes.  

3. My other challenge

Cameron is insane.  He just got up 3 different times in 7 minutes.  I am really calm with him and just let him get it out.  It doesn't last long and he doesn't whine or make a scene.  Usually he just needs a bandaid or go to the bathroom.  It doesn't bother me and if he doesn't come out I know he is EXHAUSTED.  Anyways -- he is crazy.

4. Fat rolls

Today we had another ultra sound of JackJack.  He had fat rolls on his squished up arm.  What??!!!  Along with the fat rolls, he is in the 78th percentile for weight. That shouldn't be surprising since the boys were so large for 32 weeks.  Only a few more weeks until we get to meet our big baby!!

5. Mike's Trip

Mike came home for a short few hours yesterday evening so he could go to the appointment today.  It was so nice to have him here last night and this morning.  I miss his sweet face and can't wait to spend the weekend with him.

6. Clean bathrooms

I am pretty impressed with myself this evening.  I cleaned all three bathrooms!!!  This task was LONG over do and I sadly waited until I am very very pregnant.  Tonight I couldn't wait any longer and just got it done.  The boys were great and the evening went smoothly for the most part.

7. Half a pizza

Tonight Cameron ate half of a frozen pizza.  And then he was still hungry so he had a cheese stick.  Before dinner he had a snack and ate half a green pepper.  Holy moly.  

Catching Up

1. Men-less Martinis

Last night the women in our family started a new tradition.  We hope to get together a few times a year just to celebrate life and each other.  Last night was our first one and it was a BLAST.  I was laughing so much that I was hoping to go into labor.  I haven't laughed that much in a long, long time.  

I had to take a picture of the table of food.  We all just brought stuff and randomly...we essentially brought the same thing.  Two white cakes, two fruit platters, and two cheese plates...that even had the same cheese.  So grateful for such a great night.

2. Babyshower
Before the party I went to Shelby's baby shower.  It was great.  I wanted to make sure to take a picture since we have experienced this entire pregnancy together.  Working so closely and being due 10 days apart has made life easier for me. Anyways, Shelby looks amazing in the picture with her fresh hair, spray tan, and nails and I look pretty beastly.  Regardless -- it is what it is and I want to make sure we capture this time.

I was able to enjoy a beer at the shower.  I must say -- I really felt like I was having an actual beer.

3. Anniversary Gift
I think that I already touched on this topic on the blog.  Mike got me an awesome map for our anniversary.  We are putting pins on all of the places that we have been together for an actual trip...not just visiting family.  After adding the pins it has REALLY made me want to plan our trip for this year.  I have started looking at an all-inclusive for the family.

4. Birthday cards
This week we had to do some cards for Mike's family.  Cameron was in charge of Aunt Lauren's card.  So after writing, "Happy Birthday Love, Cameron Owen JackJack" he added a sticker and was finished.  But not exactly finished. He said, "I want to send her some money."  I asked how much.  He said after much thought, "two."  So we also sent Lauren $2.

5. Catching up
It has been a wonderful weekend with Mike home.  The boys had a sleepover with Henry and with my busy weekend Mike was able to spend a lot of "boy time" with Cameron and Owen.  We are anxiously awaiting Jack to arrive.  I try to send Mike some belly pictures throughout the week and this is one of them.  I look tall and huge...like a pregnant giant.  haha

 This is the lego star wars ship that we finished putting together this week.  We had two snow days so along with playdates we had a lot of time at the house.  This lego ship is huge and we have had many hours of play with it already.

She is done with radiation.  Yay!!! 

update to the resolutions.

1. New Years Resolutions
So I jumped the gun a bit and wasn't thinking too much when I wrote out my resolutions during my last post.  I forgot that Mike and I are going to a wedding in Captiva Island next year.  SOOOOOO...we will be hitting the beach AND going on a trip together.  Now those resolutions don't count.  Regardless, I do want to take a SEPARATE trip.  I have already started to think about it but still completely clueless.

So here are a few more...

* buy the boys actual beds.

* Pay $300 a month to my student loans.  We finally have our savings built up to our magic number (it has taken MUCH longer than anticipated).  We would get it built and then do things like Greece.  I hope that it actually just stays this year.  Solid and strong.  With the new baby and a change in Mike's job I am not sure how things will fall into line but I have high hopes.  IF the savings stays then the $300 to student loans should be NO problem at all.

* Finish the windows.  We have 5 windows left.  Hopefully early this spring we can buy them and throw them in.  Three of the five are HUGE.  One of the five is custom and REALLY expensive.

2. The day to day life
We have had a busy week but today with a snow day, and I also had the day off, we are able to sit and do legos and hang out.  I even turned the heat up to 70 degrees.... what??!!!!

3. My weekend with Mike
Last weekend Mike and I were able to spend the entire weekend together getting stuff done and just hanging out.  The boys were still at Greg's.  It was peaceful.  We actually got to talk and enjoy time together.

4. My dad
Yesterday the boys had a two hour delay.  I dropped the boys off on my way to work and he brought them to school.  Then he picked them up.  He also shoveled my driveway and walk.  He is the BEST.

5. Radiation is DONE.
I have a picture of my sweet mom ringing the bell BUT I am too lazy to attach it today.  Don't worry --I will next time.  Her skin is an absolute mess but it will clear up shortly and this will be in the distant past.  Another task completed off her cancer treatment.  So very very grateful.

New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions.  They are really more like goals.  They are attainable goals and for the past few years I usually accomplish them.  In 2014 I did not accomplish all my goals.  I don't feel let down or upset -- the year changed in ways unexpected and so did my goals.  But it is time again to make resolutions and goals.

 

* Connect with Sawyer.  I am not sure how I am going to accomplish this or where this will lead me.  All I know is that I need to create a way that our family stays connected with Sawyer.  It should be easy since the boys are all the same age but it is harder than meets the eye.  This isn't measurable but once I make a game plan...I will accomplish it.  The point is to make the game plan. 

* Clear out backyard.  This was on the list last year.  It will FOR SURE be accomplished this year.  Early into the season. 

* Go to a beach.  Really any beach will do. ....well almost any beach. 

* Ride 100 bike miles with the boys.  This will be hard to accomplish.  Cameron doesn't love riding his bike but hopefully the training wheels come off this spring and then we can take longer rides as a family.

* I want to do a half iron man.  I don't want to put it on the list for this year.  BUT I do know that there are some things that would need to get in order before I could accomplish this task...such as my swim stroke.  holy moly it is terrible.  Anyways, this is also not a measurable goal but I hope by the end of next year I am closer to accomplishing my iron man race.  Half.  half iron man.

* Take a trip with Mike.  This could be to the beach...not sure...but I want to go somewhere with just him.  With the new baby on the way it could be hard this year with PTO but even if it just a weekend trip that will make my soul happy.

 

 

2015

I must be honest, I have mixed feelings about the past year.  A lot of wonderful things happened and at the same time a lot of TERRIBLE things happened.  I am a completely changed person from who I was 365 days ago.  I think that many people who have had a rough year in 2014 are eager to begin a new year.  I am a bit different, I am a little nervous to see what is ahead.  I am not scared for 2015 but I just know that life could be just as crazy.  I tried to start 2015 on a productive foot.  The boys were in Chicago with Greg and Mike was in South Bend for work so I ordered sushi (the cooked kind) and went to bed early.  My meal was a bit of a tease...anxious to have a lot more sushi options soon!

 

 On New Years Day I cooked some meals and made a TON of oatmeal balls for when Jack is born.  I also started on my yearly shutterfly book which takes FOREVER.  Grateful to have Mike home tonight so I can have a New Years Kiss.