Lego my Eggo

1. Time with Sawyer and Eloise

On Tuesday night I took Eloise to ballet and when I picked her up Sawyer was having a melt down.  I sat down and held him, sang to him, and rocked him.  It was so great to just sit and hold him.  It only lasted a few minutes but usually he is on the move and doesn't allow for me to get that much loving in.  Though it made me happy -- it also absolutely broke my spirit into a million parts.  It made me miss Erin so much and it made me miss Erin for him.  Those long hugs of a mother are so important.  I wish I could be there more for Sawyer.  I wish that I could hold him in those wee hours of the night that he needs her.  I am grateful for my long hugs this past Tuesday evening but I wish my sister was here to give him that nurturing every. single. day.

2. Hugs from MY kids
This week I laid in bed with Cameron for a few minutes on Monday night and then tonight I laid in bed with Owen.  We did some extra cuddling, talking, and singing.  With three crazy boys it is often hard to find alone time -- especially with the twins.  These few moments were special for each of us and I am grateful to sit and just enjoy the boys.

3. BIG HUGE smiles from baby Jack
When I pick up sweet baby Jack from Ambers he gives me the biggest, best smiles EVER.  It warms my heart and makes me so happy.  He starts crawling over to me and laughing and smiling the entire way.  I feel the exact same way when I see him!

4. Weaning from breast milk
When we were in OBX I almost lost my mind with pumping, washing, feeding --- the whole nine yards. I was running out of milk to give Jack so I had to add extra pumps.  It became miserable trying to juggle vacation and feeding our fussy baby who refused to sleep AND he seemed to be eat an unbelievable amount.  At home we have tons of frozen milk...on the road it was all me.  I decided that when we travel to NYC next month I will NOT be having the same, miserable experience.  The day we got back from OBX I started to wean and we started some formula.  Right now his bottles are half formula and half milk.  I am down to two pumps a day and I will probably do that for awhile.  Maybe even in NYC...who knows.  Regardless, I feel much better.  I feel like I have some much needed time back.  I am a bit sad I didn't make it a year but such is life.

5.  Sleeping through the night
I am grateful for the nights in the future and in the past that I slept or will be sleeping through the night.  Jack does not currently let that happen.  He wakes up 3-4 times a night!  What???!!!! If the child would take a pacifier I think that he would be able to go back to sleep.  But he doesn't.  And he will wake himself up if I don't go in and then be up for hours.  Right now I grab a bottle, give him a few sips, hold him for 5-10 minutes and put him back to bed.  I do love these peaceful moments with Jack BUT I will also love when he goes the entire night without needing assistance.  If he is anything like the twins...this will be a long few years......

6. Legos
We have about a gazillon legos but the boys are obsessed.  They go through phases but right now they are playing with them every night.  It is crazy to see what they can build in such a short amount of time.  I remember when they were little and HATED those big lego type blocks. HATED.  Grateful for the change.