repeats

1. the day off

Since my grandpa's funeral is tomorrow I decided to take the day off to regroup, reconnect with myself and try to get my shit together.  At least a little bit.  I freaking LOVE having the day off.  Don't get me wrong - I do like my role at work.  I am learning so much on a daily basis.  I am continually failing, learning, failing, learning .....it's INSANE that I have been there for almost a year.  It feels like I have years to still try to learn and get into a groove.  Regardless, being able to go to the gym, run errands and not put makeup on is heavenly.  

2. My husband

He gets shout outs pretty frequently on this blog but not enough.  He is such a great man.  I am so grateful that he is my husband.  He is honest, funny, dependable, passionate and continual tries to keep me focused on my goals.  He is also patient with me and gives me enormous amounts of grace. 

3.  Dr. Kara
Again.  So grateful for Kara.  Last week I noticed a bite at the base of Jack's hairline.  I thought it was a tick bite since we had spent so much time at the cabin so I snapped a picture to send off to Mike.  When I took a moment to see the picture all I could notice was is HUGE lymph node.  (that picture is not shown here)  I decided to send it off to Kara to see what she thought.  She agreed -- it was huge.  BUT since he had the ugly bite on his neck she felt assured it was reactive.  Yesterday morning I snapped another picture.  She thought it would be best if I come in.  WHAT?!!??!!  I was shocked that she said this so I made an appointment for that afternoon.  We measured the sucker and started antibiotics.  Now we are watching for about 8 weeks while it slowly goes down.

3. Lifetime Pool
Yup.  A third repeat.  This year the twins are allowed to swim in the people WITHOUT me.  I still want them to become better swimmers but holy hell this is a big step.  To top it off I was able to get a few runs down the water slide while Jack was in swim lessons.

4.  Goals
I am a huge goal person.  I find enjoyment in not only achieving but in the journey.  It makes me feel strong, successful and confident.  ALL great feelings to enjoy.  Right now I am really struggling with my goals.  It has been extremely taxing in my own brain trying to figure out how to tackle it all and what is important and what's not.  I am to the point where I am going to go back to my bucket list and start there thought that too changes.

Grateful that I have goals. Grateful that I struggle.  Grateful that I know ONE day....I'll figure it out.

5.  The boys

Last night before I went to sleep I ran across a story of an Indianapolis family whose 3 year old son Jack drown in the pool on their vacation.  It happened this week.  It was haunting and my heart raced until I was able to fall asleep.  It is an extremely terrible reminder that life is short.  It made me want to yank my sweet Jack out of bed and give him a few extra hugs.  It was a reminder that the promise of chocolate milk in the morning is ok and the hours and hours of hearing Owen talk is pure joy.  It reminded me that Cameron has the sweetest soul on this earth and how shows empathy like no one else I have met in my life.