Fresh

My photos are not crossing over this evening but I decided that I should still sit down and attempt to get back to the blog.  The past few weeks have been pretty dark for me.  I have found myself continuing to spiral, feeling insanely alone and wanting to hibernate inside my house as time passes by.  Don't worry - I have actually made myself get up and try to function.  It's been easier said than done.  Last week I ended up quitting my job.  I am angry for most moments in the day and Eskenazi was driving me bananas.

This week my plan is to WORK OUT, get shit done and take time to heal.  Wish me luck.  I'll need it.

1.  I have the ability to quit.
It's scary AF but so is spiraling into a deep depression.  I decided to put the breaks on the spiral and start digging myself out.  Grateful that I have the ability to walk away from a job.  Grateful that I will be able to pay my bills, love on my children, and take care of myself.

2.  Busy weekend
I am trying to stay busy - it's working.  This weekend we had a MRO party on Saturday night and then Sunday I spent the night at the Gurchiek's lake house with the boys.  They were both a blast and a great way to spend the weekend.

3. Mike's trip to Columbus
Rouzer was FINALLY able to catch up with friends.  It has been a long summer so a night out in Columbus was not only long over due but much needed.  He told me about how he sat outside of a burrito joint and just had full on belly laughs for so long that his body hurt from laughing.  Ahhhh - so grateful that he was able to make the quick trip.

4. Nap
This afternoon the boys played electronics and I took a nap.  Like - I real nap.  Not just laying down with one ear open.  It felt fabulous.

5. The help
Oh goodness, I don't think that I could list all of the people who have helped me get through the day.  My sorority sisters who I haven't talked to in 15 years, friends from elementary school, Mike's family, old friends, new coworkers.....I mean the list is long and crazy.  Grateful for the village showing up when I didn't know how much I needed them.