Popcorn

1. I finally got out of bed

I didn't sleep well last night.  At. All.  Mike has been sick the past few days and though yesterday he was feeling MUCH better he probably should of taken more meds last night.  For hours he was coughing, tossing and turning.  At 230 I suggested he take some benadryl and almost immediately he stopped coughing and was asleep. I on the other hand continued to toss, turn and ache until 4am when I finally got out of bed to start the day.  I see a nap in my future and that makes me happy.

2. Boyscout popcorn is GONE

I completely get why people do not want to sell stuff with their kids.  

That being said -- we will probably have a bigger goal next year.  This year our family goal was to sell $1000.  This would cover both activity fees AND give the boys a little bit extra that they would be able to put towards camp.  I have not calculated the total sales but our family is officially done selling popcorn.  Mike took the boys out last night and they made bank!

Some wins: **This is way outside of Cameron's comfort zone and he tackled it like a champ.  **We don't have to pay the activity fee. **Boy Scout popcorn is delicious! 

3. Halloween decorations are out
We pulled down the boxes of Halloween decorations last night and the twins loved putting everything out around the house.  Both Mike and I enjoy our halloween dish ware the best.  We love the pumpkin glasses and eating off the halloween plates.  Strange but true.

4. AMAZING weather
The past few nights have been absolutely amazing out.  I have gone on lots of walks with Jack and Nash and these evenings could not be anymore perfect.

5. Flights booked
This week I booked flights to go see the littlest Rouzer in December.  Lauren is due 11/11 so hopefully she goes a little late and then we can hold our sweet niece when she is a tiny baby.  I used our travel rewards so the flight ended up being free.  That's pretty awesome in my book!

Some FAILS -- lots of ramblings

I absolutely love my format of this blog -- I think that when I sit down to write it helps me to regroup, refocus, and continue to be positive.  That being said, a lot of my life doesn't hit the blog.  I try to write some of my failures into these five highlights but usually the messy stays at the sideline.  And goodness knows, I carry a lot of messy.  

So tonight, I am going to try and highlight some of the FAIL that is happening -- yet obviously put it into the format of the things that make me happy.

1. I am OFF Facebook. 

Yup -- I am officially off Facebook and I have absolutely no plan to get back on.  Right now my news feed is filled to the brim of people trying to sell me something.  It's boring, underwhelming and a complete waste of my time.  It is odd, embarrassing and miserable that I am able to look at Facebook ALL. THE. TIME. with absolutely NOTHING going on.  I find myself being noisy, comparing my life to others and trying to show off.  I am grateful that Facebook is out of my life.  

2. Jack didn't watch Mickey Mouse tonight

So a few months ago Mike started letting Jack watch Mickey Mouse.  I would be surprised if this didn't make the blog at the time.  It all started innocently with a desire to get us to Disney (Yes--I created a conspiracy theory) -- and immediately he was hooked.  Anyways, fast forward a few months later and here we are ...our 19 month old can sit and watch TV for HOURS if we let him.  And I would say a safe bet is that we have probably let him.  Holy hell this is embarrassing to type out but it's the truth.  Mickey Mouse is sort of like my own personal crack.  I am able to turn the TV on and get shit done. Or get nothing done.  I am able to just rest and breathe.  Now -- all of these words can be conflicting -- I completely agree with resting/breathing/surviving life -- BUT I have used the TV as a terrible crutch to parent my child.  With Jack I feel like I am sort of on the fail side of parenting.  

Tonight --- I would not let him watch Mickey.  Though he still refused to eat dinner (and I am sure he went to bed starving) -- we did all of the things that I love about being his mom.  We read books, played outside, and took walks with Nash.  Grateful that I am kicking this addiction in the ass.  ******Tomorrow morning he will be watching Mickey -- but only one episode -- I don't think the rest of the house can deal with his screaming at 6 am.*****

3.  I know that working out makes you feel SO.MUCH.BETTER

I know this because this used to be part of ME.  It isn't so much anymore....at all. I am grateful that I absolutely, 100% know this truth. I am completely failing at this in my life right now and I have been failing at this for a few years.  I hope to somehow get back into the routine of things when I start my new job.  

Ok....so that's enough for now.  See...it doesn't even feel right to highlight the bad.  It's there -- of course it's there.  We all have our demons and we all have our hiccups.  I think in order to be successful in life it's necessary to focus on the good -- to highlight the accomplishments.  Defeats are going to happen, and misery at times will get the best of us at times.  I am a strong believer, especially in the past two years, in resilience.  And the benefit and importance of this trait.  I believe that resilience is built on daily positivity and grace. - how we live life every single day that matters.  

**I need to say -- nothing dramatic has happened.  Nothing at all.  I think that it is just important to write out to my kids who might one day be reading this journal -- BE POSITIVE.  Look at the good in things, look at the good in people, expect the positive outcome, and create your life to be  WONDERFUL to live in.  

Lots of hours in pajamas

1. A weekend with the boys. Minus Mike.

Mike has had a big weekend.  On Friday night he went to see Joe Rogan with Rob in Columbus and then stayed to try out his hand at hunting.  I am not accurately able to explain how big this is.  On Friday morning I was walking around with the biggest smile knowing how the next 72 hours would unfold for him

As I am writing this out he still hasn't even seen a deer.  Though this would put him over the moon, I know he is still in heaven visiting family, hanging out in the woods, meditating in the trees, seeing Joe Rogan in the flesh ...the list goes on.  I wish I was able to be with him to watch the joy on his face. 

That all being said, I have been able to spend my hours just hanging with the boys.  I have been in pajamas for over 24 hours now and have no interest in leaving the house until Owen's game this afternoon.  Cheers to the weekend!

2. The note

When I got home from work Friday night I quickly jumped into the shower to get ready for "men-less martini night."  When I got out I noticed how Mike set the bed before he left.  He laid out my favorite pajamas and wrote the sweetest note -- of course, reminding me to be safe.  It's the small things, it's the big things, it's everything.  I love being married to Mike.  

3. Friday Night
Since Mike was out of town for his big weekend, my dad got the boys off the bus and then ended up staying the evening so I could go to hang with the girls for a few hours.  Jenna was in town from California so even though we just all got together last month it was great to do it again.  A few martinis and lots of laughs always makes the soul feel a little bit better.

4. The learning is out of this world
Owen -- he wants me to write out math problems every night so he can practice his math skills.  (what?! -- this is actually something I did as a kid too.....)
Jack -- I just taught him to find and bring me the remote so I can start a new episode of Mickey Mouse and I didn't have to get up.  (yes -- this is NOT something to brag about)
Cameron -- things come naturally....possibly.  When he speaks spanish it's absolutely beautiful.  He doesn't like to do anything extra and sort of lets everything just come naturally. (hopefully this plays out well.)

5. Bare cabinets
I am not actually grateful that I don't have food in my house.  Let's be honest -- I wish someone would plan on the meals, go to the store, pay for my groceries, and put everything away. BUT I have almost successfully eaten everything in the house.  I am out of almost EVERYTHING.  Though that sounds like a huge grocery bill coming up -- it also means that we are not wasting much and that I didn't have to leave the house yesterday.

Those eyes melt my heart.

huh

So tonight I tried to do too many things, completely miscalculated my times and found myself telling Owen (who had been dressed for soccer for 2 hours) that his soccer practice would be ending in approximately 10 minutes and that he would not be able to go.  Tears formed quickly in ihis eyes but he somehow figured out the courage to take the news like a boss.  On on the other hand  felt pretty bad about the whole thing.  I didn't have the coaches email on me so we showed up at the END of practice and I apologized in person for missing out.  

Here's the thing--I HATE no shows -- HATE.  I also don't like being late.  At. All.  As you can imagine, the whole evening when I slowly realized my plans were dissolving around me, my heart was beating out of my chest.  It taught me a lesson to think before I plan -- plan ahead -- and make sure to plan grace periods within my evening.  I was also able to show Owen how I successfully handled a mistake and applaud (and treat him to ice cream) for successfully handling the disappointment.  

**And for those judgers out there -- yes I realize that ice cream was not necessary and possibly taught him the wrong lesson BUT my soul needed some relief**

Tonight I am just going to just highlight some pictures instead of 5 things that make me happy.

A picture of us at Owen's soccer game on Sunday afternoon. 

Cameron is bored to say the least.  He usually sits up on the bleachers even when Owen's team plays four fields away.

I had my phone out to check my email and Jack was saying "cheeeeese" so I felt it necessary to snap his sweet picture.

Kissing grandma during FaceTime.

Our new barber, Kutz.  Holy moly they are finally getting better haircuts!

The boys out for ice cream tonight.  I decided to stay home with SBJ.

Sorry -- I have to write a quick 5.  It's just part of the grateful life.

1. Fall weather

Today I wore jeans and a long, comfortable shirt.  The weather was perfect. Windows are open and it's freezing cold in the morning.  Absolutely heavenly.

2. Radio Lab
I have a new podcast that I love.  I feel like I spend a LOT of time in my car so things like this make me happy.

3. Fresh Haircuts
The boys have pictures on Friday and I was having trouble getting them scheduled for haircuts.  Though I completely messed up the schedule tonight --hair cuts are complete.

4. Mike is awesome.
"he is really awesome and has a really big weiner"

5. Morning coffee
HELLO! I would be a miserable, lazy ass mess without my morning coffee.  Don't get me wrong, I get plenty of sleep BUT I also eat terrible and rarely workout so in the mornings I am still super sleepy.  I am also probably addicted to coffee which doesn't help anything either...  Regardless -- this morning my coffee was the sole reason I had all boys out the door, the dishwasher emptied, breakfast cleaned up, all rooms picked up and vacuumed and laundry started....before 830am

Bitter Sweet

1. Sleeping in my bed

So tonight it is a little bit bitter sweet because I am sleeping in my bed BUT the twins and Mike are camping out with the boy scouts.  They are doing skits by the camp fire right now as I listen to Jack try and fall asleep.  So here is the deal .... I think that camping probably is really fun and it's different and cool and you wake up feeling happy that you survived the night.  I follow REI on instagram and when they post the most amazing camping photos in the middle of nowhere it makes me want to hike there and set up camp.  BUT I am pretty happy right now that I am in my bed.  I am using electricity, hopefully no bugs crawl on me, and when I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I think it will be an overall smooth experience.  The boys are in heaven -- and for that I am grateful.  I wish I could of stayed a bit longer to enjoy smores and goodnight kisses but super grateful that I am in my bed.    .....and yes....one day I will camp again and I think that I might actually like it...but right now I will leave it up to the boys.

oh....the tent.   It will be interesting to hear how it goes tonight.  I have a feeling we will finally buy our own tent.

Clearly he is in heaven.  

2. Daddy Mike
Yup. Sorry to bore you but this man must make the list AGAIN.  Legit I think that he is the fucking bomb.  Though he loves camping and being with the boys -- I am sure 30 boy scouts running around all night will test him to the limits.  I am so grateful that he stands up to continually volunteer to do things.  He is the absolute best and I am so so so happy.

3.  Another day is complete with SBJ holyshit baby Jack.
He has hit that age and he is ROUGH.  Today was no joke.  It's usually never a joke.  He is on-off-on-off all the time.  I must say that he comes by it naturally. Both Mike and I run pretty hard all the time and we are both stubborn and persistent BUT yikes -- add that to the terrible twos and you can meet baby Jack.

4. We can pay our bills and not worry
I am pretty serious about money.  We have lots of major goals both long term and short term and we work hard to accomplish them.  For some reason right now we have had lots of random things come up like our yearly car insurance bill and our license plate renewal to name a few.  Though I don't like spending the money I am glad that we can just easily pay.  I think that this is a big deal and though we have worked hard to be in this position I am grateful that we are in this place AND I don't want to take it for granted.

Cameron set up a note and Mickey on Jack's crib as a surprise.

 5. Nicole
I am so glad that I was able to catch up with Nicole this week.  She is the absolute best.  She is thoughtful, inspiring, and uplifting.  She is positive, a fabulous mom and insanely easy to be around.  I feel honored and blessed to be her friend.  When she leaves my soul feels full AND I have many new things to think about, work through and apply in my own life.  She is the best.

Hitting the streets for sales.  Holy -- this picture makes it look easy.  It's not. 

The easy days

It is because of days like today that I feel successful, energized and that I can gracefully do it all again tomorrow.  Days like today when the balance between hard work and wonderful play mesh perfectly.  Days when kids crash hard and parents sleep easy.  These days are the best.  

Today I had another Tuesday off.  I skipped spin this morning to have the house appraised (No -- we are not moving).  Because our appointment was at 9 Mike and I were able to beast out the entire house of cleaning before 830 -- yes, be impressed.  So not only did I have a clean house, I was able to grocery shop for the week, mow my ridiculously large yard, do two loads of laundry AND enjoy lunch out with my husband all before the kids jumped off the bus.  Once the kids got off the bus Mike and I split up reading, tackled homework and then sorted Cub Scout popcorn.  We picked up Jack, had dinner and then Owen and I headed to soccer.  I was able to catch up with an old friend, watch Owen score a goal and enjoy the evening sunshine.  At the same time Mike was taking Cameron and Jack out to sell more popcorn.  Once we all met at home the older boys went back out to sell while I played with Jack and gave him a bath.  When the twins made it home (yes--we were up a little past bedtime) they showered and enjoyed a snack.  

Today life worked and it worked well.  These days fuel me for the next.  They remind me how sweet this time is.  They remind me to work really hard so that when I am around my littles I actually have TIME to teach, play and grow with them.  Days like today are the best.

1. Mike

He takes such good care of me I can't say it enough.  I hope that these boys are watching him closely and figuring out how to love on their partner and be a good husband and father -- because goodness he does it right.  

Mike taking the two out while I was at soccer practice with Owen.

 2. "Guess what"
Cameron starts out almost every single sentence with "guess what. " Every one.  It is hard to not actually start laughing when you are talking to him when after each sentence he adds another, "guess what."  He actually wants you to say, "what?" and then he will complete the next sentence.  Sometimes I will try and say, "Hey, guess what?" but he just responds with a "what?" like it is totally normal to start every sentence that way.

I absolutely love this picture of him.

3. "Oh really."
So the twins talk A LOT.  Owen talks the most but when you get Cameron on a roll he keeps going and going....I have found that I say, "oh really" at least 100 times a day.  They tell me the most random shit and are clearly looking for some type of response.  Hmmmm.....maybe I am as bad as Cameron's, "guess what?"

4. Porta (aka Porter) Potty talk
While I am on the subject -- today at soccer Owen had to run to the bathroom so I was standing near the porta potties waiting for him.  He yelled, "mom," I assumed to see if I made it there since he was running ahead.  Once he realized I was there he started into a story about why he ate lunch with the teacher today.  I stopped him mid sentence and told him to concentrate on pooping.  Yes -- our kids talk A LOT.

5. Goals
I am super grateful that I am goal oriented and goal driven.  I think that this trait has helped me a lot in life to achieve happiness and overall wellbeing.

This is just for your viewing pleasure.  He has mulch in both hands and is pissed that he can't go on the big swing without mom's help.  #thestruggleisreal

Just today.

1. Cafe Patachou
At 815 when we finally rolled out of bed we realized that we had enough time to get to Patachou for breakfast and still be home by 930.  We love the ease and yumminess of Cafe Patachou and find ourselves there frequently on the mornings that we don't have the boys.  We usually arrive early enough so we don't have to wait and they never disappoint.

2.  Watching Owen play soccer
Today I was solo with the three boys for Owen's soccer game because Mike had to work.  It went surprisingly smoothly since SBJ eventually fell asleep and I was able to just sit and watch Owen play.  Cameron struggles with boredom at times during games but he is old enough to take a ball and go play on an empty field so overall it works out great.  Our team this year is a bit rough but Owen runs his ass off and absolutely loves playing.

those lips though

3. Boyscout popcorn sales

After the soccer game the boys changed into their cub scout uniforms and headed out to knock on doors to raise money for cub scouts.  Surprisingly they both loved going door to door.  We ended up stopping because Jack was insanely hard to manage and the mass amount of bug bites all over their legs was becoming alarming.  While we walked up and down the street, I was watching them fearlessly ring door bells and I will admit -- it was pretty fun and admirable.   

4. Two TVs

All members of our family are absolutely exhausted right now.  We all partied a bit too hard last night and we all have been going strong all day.  As I sit and type Jack is watching Mickey in our bedroom and the boys are eating popcorn and watching Aladdin in the living room.  It's peaceful, it's easy, and goodness, sitting down makes me super happy.

5. Owen lost his tooth

While I was folding laundry a few minutes ago and Mike was getting all the boys settled into their shows Owen shouted out, "I lost my tooth!"  He lost it while he was eating popcorn and he was pretty thrilled with the whole thing.  Now he sort of looks like a pirate!