Change

I am not sure how to begin this post.  So I guess I will start with the end of the day....I am sitting in the dark, drinking tea (it has been a LONG time since I had tea), I have accomplished no goals for the day, and my house is asleep. 

I was supposed to be spending the night at Community South.  My mom was scheduled for an 8 hour surgery with a four day hospital stay.  I had a bag packed, I was up early, and I had tons of computer work to accomplish as I sat in the waiting room.  She was back in pre-op, was finished with her IV antibiotics, had fluid running, and we were all just waiting. ...... And then life changed again.  

A scan that they did back in April was not fully reviewed and this morning her surgeon found what is possibly mets to her bone.  Surgery was canceled.  

My mom got dressed and we immediately headed over to Dr. A's office.  Natalie met us in the lobby -- because she is absolutely amazing -- and we sat down for more talks.  

Tomorrow my mom has more test and then Wednesday we sit down again to set the next plan.  

I feel numb today.  I feel overwhelmed and heavy.  I feel that I don't know what to pick up or do next.  I can't concentrate and I can comprehend the next few days, months, or years ahead.

Life changed again today and again it was blindsiding and it changed quickly.  Even when you think that you are so set on THIS path --- it turns into THAT one.  Sorry that I can't be more insightful.  I find myself just sitting, staring, and tears rolling down my face.  

***I do want to say one thing about my Aunt.  She gives and gives and gives and gives.  She is a wonderful example of someone who gives of herself to help those that she loves.  Grateful for this beautiful example in my life. *****