the real

I am at work, updating the blog, since I don't have enough work to do, but last week was rough.  I don't think that I have the emotional stability to share any of the gritty details.  To make a long story short, my mom's cancer is starting to aggressively attack her liver.  The attack has come on quickly and does not seem to be slowing down.  She started a new oral chemotherapy but the doctor also told us to call in family that wants to say goodbye and made her a DNR.  I am sure you can guess... it has been one of those weeks.  

So in an effort to not sit at my desk and cry I am going to do a quick 5.

1. More time with my mom

So the death of my mom is a lot different than the death of my sister.  I have been able to sit and tell my mom how much I love her, how I am grateful to be her daughter and how freaking wonderful she is.  There have been a parade of people doing the same.  In the past 24 hours she is starting to get more confused but I am grateful she will see all the grand babies and say "love you" to friends and family.

2. Menless mimosa brunch
We received the official news on Friday (though the entire week was leading up to this discussion) so on Saturday we decided to have an impromptu brunch with the girls.  It was perfect and I think just what we all needed.  I am grateful that we are actually taking the time vs putting our heads in the sand.

3. Dinner out with Shelby and Tanya
This night out was perfect.  I was exhausted and VERY drunk but I am so grateful to get away from the heaviness and reality of the week.  Lots of laughs, updates and just simply time together.  These women carried me through the darkness before and I am so grateful that they are here again. 

4.  Family in town

Kate and Kyle got in town early Sunday morning (like 2 am) and Jess and the family are coming in late tonight.  I am glad that my mom is able to get a few extra hugs and not just needing to stare at my ugly mug all day.

5. Rouzer

Like I stated before....this past week has been a long one.  With my new job, all the tests and doctors appointments, extra time with my mom..... it took up all of my energy. Mike helped in every way possible, doing all the chores, meals, moving kids around, ensuring that I slept, more dishes, meals....the works.  He took kids to the movies, gave my mom Jeep rides...more carting people around....  I rarely said thank you, didn't have the energy for many smiles and still felt heavy and overwhelmed with life.  Mike kept plugging along and ensured that we didn't drown during the crazy of life.  I am so grateful that I get to do this life with him.  Thank you Mike!!