TWO DAYS

What??!!! Two days in a row.  Holy moly I am on fire.  All of my pictures would not post, but such is life…you get what you get.

1.  The apple orchard

It was another great day at the apple orchard.  Our normal farm was closed yesterday so we tried to go to Stuckys.  We didn't get pumpkins but we were able to enjoy their other activities.  It was HOT out yesterday but the boys were in good moods and we had tons of apples to choose from.  It was another afternoon of skipping naps so they went down easily.

2. Kicks
Baby JackJack has been kicking like crazy.  Especially this morning.  It is my day off and I decided to try and relax a bit and take my time this morning.  The house is picked up (not cleaned…but picked up) and so I am trying to just take my time and enjoy the day.  He has been kicking like crazy and it is nice to just sit here and enjoy my pregnancy for a few minutes.

3. Siblings
I am putting a positive spin on this….because in actuality the boys are driving me into a slow death of arguing.  Don't get me wrong they LOVE each other.  They look out for each other and are truly best friends.  It is extremely sweet.  But recently they just argue and complain and whine all the time.  All. The. Time.  Owen does stuff to make Cameron upset and Cameron plays up the role.  Then it gets reversed.  I usually ask them to stop talking.  But if you have met these two little ones, you know that is not possible.

4. New windows
5 new windows are in my garage and hopefully will get put in THIS WEEK.  what?!!!???  I know, I am so freaking excited.  My bank account is not excited.  My soul -- excited!

5. The full schedule
I must admit, I am a tad nervous to bring the next love into our family.  Our days are super busy and wonderfully full.  I am not sure how it will all work but the four of us are VERY excited and looking forward to the new year.  I constantly say, "I have no idea how people do this."  I truly don't.  How do we have all these things to do and still figure it all out?  How do people make it all seem so easy?  I am trying to enjoy each moment and drain the life out of it so I can carry it with me….is that what everyone else does?  I try to not waste the time or the moments that we don't know when will end.  I am not even sure what I am blabbing about right now.  I have to get going and officially start the day.  Only a few more hours to get actual chores done. Cheers!

The gorilla

1. Pat's visit

Mike's mom came in this weekend because she has work in Indy on Tuesday.  I haven't seen her since my sister's accident when she came in and saved us.  Holy -- what and amazing lady.  Yesterday we went to lunch and Toys R Us.  Then Mike and Pat went out for Tony's bday.  This afternoon we plan on going to the apple orchard.  We had breakfast and now those two are taking naps. 

2. Coffee
I started drinking coffee again.  This was from yesterday morning.  I personally didn't drink all 4 of those Kcups but I thought that it was an perfect snapshot of our morning.

3. Gorilla project
Last week in Owen's class newsletter there was mention of a class gorilla.  If I remember correctly, the gorilla was going to everyones house and then the family had to do something with a book or take pictures or something….that the child report back to the class.  I know -- great memory.  WELL, on friday night owen comes into my room crying because he left his gorilla in grandpa's car.  I was confused because I forgot about the newsletter and told him not to worry we will go first thing in the morning and get it.  In the morning, he didn't mention it and neither did I.  Well on Saturday morning Mike and my dad picked up the new windows and my dad placed a pile of all of their school supplies on the ground.  So we now have the gorilla but no book and no clear instructions (except from a 4 year old).  My dad says that he sort of remembers a book in a bag which is still in his locker at school.  So this weekend we are just sort of winging it with the gorilla AND I am going to be THAT mom….again.  Awesome.  So we took some pictures of the gorilla and plan to have them printed out later this afternoon.  ……this should be interesting.

Oh, and the picture below…the gorilla was helping me fold laundry.  And for those of you investigating the photos you can sort of make out the Captan America to the left on my bedside table (he is behind my cup).  Cameron brought that to me so that I could drink his powers.

4. Funerals & Showings
This week I had two different showings to go to.  On Thursday night I took the kids because I figured the Able jude would also be there --and they were.  Josh and I took them all outside and it actually became a productive evening.   Love having cousins all the same age.

5. The weather
How could someone not be grateful for such beautiful days.  I can not get enough of this weather.

half way

1. That mom
The other day we were at the store and the entire way there Cameron whined about wanting to go to a toy store instead.  When you are unable to get away from his whining or fix is whining it is terrible.  So after taking a "point" (which made him cry and whine louder) I was over the entire thing.  When I got to the store to pick up a few small items I was that mom who let my children pick out the most terrible cereal in the world.  AND, as you can see from the picture, they got two boxes.  I know that this isn't the best way to reward terrible behavior.  But sometimes, at least THAT time, I didn't have the energy to work it out with him anymore.  This cereal didn't even have a picture of it on the box.  It was completely marketed for children.  That same trip I purchased a case of beer, 2 packages of mango-ritas and a handle of vodka.  hahaha….too bad I can't enjoy any of it.  Oh, and I also went through the 10 item of less aisle.

2.  Some Random pictures…because who doesn't love the iPhone.
It will be interesting to see how life and technology begins to evolve.  But here are some random picks from our week.  Just grateful to have another week to be alive.

**I went to Ashley's to help with stuffing packets for the Mud Run.  But of course I had to take some breaks to cuddle with sweet Josie.**

Chemo Tuesday.  I had another Tuesday off so I was able to join these ladies at Maggianos.  Yum.


3. Holy the grocery bill
I am grateful that we have money to pay our grocery bill.  I am trying to figure out ways to do things a bit cheaper and make our food last longer while still giving into the treats of life.  (Hence the cereal above --THOUGH that was CHEAP which helped get it into my cart) And the cereal below.  The boys love picking out their own box.  This particular morning they each had two boxes of cereal and we practiced all of our letters on the boxes and then I pulled out flash cards.  I can't even imagine when they turn into teenagers!

4. Date day…and night.
Last Saturday my parents took all the grandkids to Monkey Joe's for the morning.  It was great.  Mike and I went to Cafe Patachoo and then I came home and read my book.  Then that night we took them to Parent's Night Out at the gym.  They loved it -- and so did we.  We dropped them off and went a tooled around for a bit and then had dinner at Divvy.  I was so full that I couldn't even sit comfortably anymore and had to leave early.  It was nice to spend time with this wonderful man.  The picture is not from our day out but it is from a winery in Tuscany.  Isn't that an awesome wall.

5. Ultrasound

I have to leave right now to make it to our next ultrasound.  Excited to see this little one again.  I am 20 weeks.  HALF WAY DONE!!!

Beat of Your Heart

It's Friday.  I never imagined that I would become the person that dreads Monday and looks forward to Friday…but I must say, even only working three days a week, I am really happy it is Friday.  

Cameron on the other hand has been in a funk this week.  I think that he is just exhausted.  He gets sleep every night and the boys have been doing great but maybe he needs more.  He finally napped at school today.  No worries though, he is being super loving, cuddly, and funny as always…just also in a bit of a funk.

1. The ABCs
Owen is pretty competitive but in knowing his alphabet by sight Cameron has him beat…by a lot.  I think that Cameron has almost all of his letters down Owen on the other hand is struggling a bit.  I am sure that this is normal but it's hard to wonder what is more normal.  Sometimes I think that Owen has dyslexia or something of the sort…something that I need to talk with Kara about.  We worked on letters tonight but this dude is so not interested.  Cameron on the other hand doing great.

2. …And me mom…
As I was typing up #1 it reminded me of something that Cameron says that always makes me smile.  If I tell Owen that he is doing a good job or that he is being good -- Cameron always says, "And me too." And won't really let it go unless I agree.  Many times Cameron is actually not being good and it reminds me to tell Owen "thank you for behaving" and then Cameron chimes in with "and me too," but clearly he's not.  WHICH at that time if I argue with him it just makes him more upset and more miserable.  I don't know if this story will make sense to me in 20 years….

3. Beat of Your Heart by Cory Morrow
As I have written in the a recent post, the car is always a hard place for me.  If I have good music or a good podcast to listen to it makes the time much easier to manage.  I randomly have a cd with this song on it in my player.  CD #5, song 7.  Anyways, it instantly brings me back to dance parties in my kitchen.  It makes me happy to listen to.  Though those are old memories, but they were wonderful ones.  I actually get a smile on my face.

4.  The nursery is painted
Did I do this one already?  It was painted this week.  Still needs a few touch ups this weekend but overall pretty happy with the outcome.  Now I just need to start collecting the stuff that Jack Jack will actually need.

5. Nighttime routines
I am a person of routine.  I THRIVE on routine (though usually it has so be something that I enjoy) but I just am a person of routine.  Don't get me wrong ~ I love my adventures, my travels, and vacations, and the everyday joy in life BUT I just think that I get more accomplished and reach my dreams when I have a routine.  Not only that but I believe that children are more successful and happy with routine.  Of course they love the random trips to chuckie cheese and being spoiled by the grandparents but overall routine is best.

On to the point…our normal bedtime routine is that Mike does the teeth and pajamas and then I read the boys 2-3 stories, tuck them in, and usually do some type of song.  It's pretty routine and it is pretty wonderful.

Tuesday

1. Making food

The past few days I am actually back into the grove of making food.  It is unbelievable how much food that we legit go though.  All three boys seem like they can eat forever.  In this picture below Owen was helping me make pop tarts and though Cameron didn't have much of an interest in helping he decided to bring his markers and paper up just so he could be next to us.

 2. Cleaning up
For the most part the boys are pretty good at cleaning up.  Yesterday we were playing some games and the last game they got down I decided not to play.  Mike was making dinner and I was folding laundry in the bedroom.  I asked the boys to clean up the game and without hesitation or complaint (yes, that is a bit unusual) they put the entire game away.  The next time I came out of the bedroom the game was in its box, sitting next to my door.  They didn't even tell me it was finished…they just left it and moved on.  It made me smile.

3. My parents
My dad picks up the boys three days a week from school.  Today was one of those days.  He usually takes them to our house but today Owen wanted to go there (to play with play dough) and so they went there for a few hours.  So so so grateful for this set up.  It makes it extremely easy for us and the boys love being with their grandparents.

4. The power of the mind
Though recently I have not done any meditation or yoga or calming exercises….I still give myself frequent pep talks.  I am a STRONG believer in the power of the mind and how we have control over the mind.  Came across this quote yesterday.  I am just grateful that though I might be in a fog, weak, uncomfortable, unsure, insecure, and just completely at a loss….I have the ability (as we all do) to recover.

5. "Raise your hand"
Somehow this became a frequent event for us.  One of the boys will usually start with, "Raise your hand if you like spiderman (or some type of superhero)."  Then they will wait for the entire car or table to respond.  Usually this happens at a meal or on a car ride at least a few times a week.  It usually goes on for awhile.  They usually list every super hero, colors, or whatever it might be.  Owen usually throws in, "raise your hand if you love Aunt Erin."  And if someone doesn't raise their hand on a certain topic…it is noticed and usually discussed.

Yeah--so take that cable TV and iPhone games….we have the "raise your hand" entertainment.

S'mores

I think that it is fair to say that we miss our old "normal."  We were pretty lucky and pretty set when the first of the year rolled around.  Don't get me wrong, I still consider myself extremely lucky.  But these past few months have been rough and the air extremely thick.  It's just hard.  We have a lot going on and the day to day becomes hard and when you can't get your foundation set everything is just a bit harder.  I think that this new routine and new normal is trying to make itself at home and though we kick our feet, stick our heads in the sand, and find it hard to breathe at times….we know it's folding out around us.  This past week I have tried to be more conscious of doing things that don't seem hard.  Of using my mind and my strength to keep me on track and be the parent, spouse, sister, daughter, friend, and coworker that I want to be.  It has made it easier to breath.  We have really been able to enjoy each other and our time together and not be bogged down with the day to day frustrations and hang-ups.  But just as I was getting my grove back I got stopped in my tracks.  I got pulled back to the thickness and frustration and anger of the loss.   Sawyer keeps leaving his house in the middle of the night and it is extremely scary and disheartening.  Tonight we are having the kids stay here (as you will see in the pictures below) and Mike is going to sleep on the couch and though I am usually great about hearing the bedroom door open, I am going to sleep without a fan on.  We are nervous for his safety.  I decided today that I need to take a step back and be more present at the same time.  It's hard, uncharted waters without a guide.  Where can I step in and when do I keep my mouth shut.  I am really struggling, really miss my sister, and I am really grateful that the kids are all safe here at my house.

1. Friday Night
Yesterday night we decided to make a fire and cookout.  We made hot dogs and smores.  It was a perfect night and everyone had a great time.  Hopefully we can get a few more nights like this in before it gets too cold out.

(Owen and I were sitting in the front yard talking about school.  It's so crazy how I can have actual conversations with the kids…sometimes.)

2. Time
This week I tried to get a lot of my endless "To Do" list done on my two free days.  That way we could actually spend some quality time with each other.  And it has been great.  On Thursday after I picked the boys up from school we even went swimming for an hour at the gym.

This picture below is when we were all sitting on a little chair taking pictures and then Cameron "gassed" on us.

3. Superheros
Obsession.  Clearly.  This morning we went downtown and did the Heart Walk.  The boys dressed as wolverine and the hulk and then had their face painted.  We had a good morning PLUS got some fresh air and exercise.  It was nice to get the day started off to a great start.

4. Cousins
The boys LOVE Sawyer and Eloise.  It is great that they are all so close in age.  We picked the kids up and went to the park, made some pizza, and then ran around the house and trashed it.  It is always exhausting and leaves the adults spent BUT it is so much fun for the kids and so important.  So grateful for these silly ones.

 5. The letters were sent!!
This has been on my to do list since before our trip to Europe.  I have been mustering up the courage to write a letter to the families who received Erin's kidneys.  I purchased the cards months ago and every few days I move the cards, think about what I am going to write, or give my self a "due date."  Well this week on one of my days off I finally took the plunge.  Now the letters are mailed and out of my hands.  Even if I don't hear back I just feel a bit lighter knowing that I sent them.

My children won't get dressed

1. The TED radio hour

Monday morning on my way to work I always listen to this radio show. It makes me happy and is the best programming on my way in during the week.  Sometimes I forget that it is on but usually it is a pretty good start to the work week.

2. Egg video

Amber got the boys (especially Cameron) hooked on "egg videos."  This is literally a YouTube video of people opening Easter eggs and seeing what the surprise is inside.  It is terrible.  Once I even heard Owen say, "She sounds nice."  Meaning that the voice narrating the video was probably a nice woman.    I know, very strange addiction -- don't get your kids started.

3. Ikea

This weekend we took a trip to Ikea to get furniture for the new room.  Who doesn't love Ikea?  AND this was the first time that I didn't have to lift anything or put anything together.  How can I not be grateful for that!!

4. Maternity Clothes

Last week Ashley gave me a huge bin of maternity clothes.  I quickly realized that I now have MORE maternity clothes than I do regular clothes.  I am super super grateful.  

** Last night I was the late nurse and all three boys were home alone.  They did face painting again and very excited about the whole thing. **

5. An old book

Yesterday I was cleaning off a bookshelf and found this book.  My sister gave this to me a LONG time ago…I am thinking that she was in high school and I was in middle school.  Regardless, seeing her handwriting and thinking about her craziness made me smile.  

Oh…and on one final note…I am on the verge of tears because my children will not listen to me and will not get dressed for bed.  

Labor Day

I just noticed that this wasn't Posted.  Oops! 

1. Trip to Columbus

This weekend Mike did a football fantasy draft with friends from college so we all went into Columbus for a last minute trip.  We went to a science museum, Cosi in the afternoon and then when Mike went out Rick and I took the boys to Chuckie Cheese.  It was great to see Rick, get out of the house, and spoil the boys.  It was a fast trip though we did make four stops on the 2.5 hour trip home.

 I had to add this…we got two large pizzas at Chuckie Cheese.  We at this between two adults and two children.  Holy moly.  Cameron had 5 pizzas by himself!!

2. My day off

Today is my day off.  Right now I am sitting at my moms chemo.  It is pretty strange to be here with my laptop, in my street clothes.  This afternoon we are going shopping and going to lunch.  Not going to get many of my chores done but such is life.

I am not finishing today.  Going to spend time at chemo.