Thanksgiving

1. Thanksgiving

This year Mike and I had Thanksgiving and the boys were at their dads.  On Wednesday night we went out to eat to celebrate our new car purchase and then on Thursday morning we got up and started the cooking.  It was actually a lot of fun to be in the kitchen together and just bust it out.  Once family came over everything started to fall into place. I am so thankful for these moments together.  I am really missing my sister right now but I think that her calming, full of life spirit was with us on Thursday.  

This is Mike being creepy at Ale Emporium.  I am obsessed with their pizza and so we find ourselves there frequently so I can get pizza and he can get wings.

2. Christmas shopping
I went to work for a few hours on Friday.  After I got home and took a nap Mike and I headed out to the crowds and did some Christmas shopping. We also had to make a Christmas list for his mom so he was trying on jackets, vests, and sweaters.  We were out for five hours but we got the boys finished, the family gift exchange, and most of Sawyer and Eloise's gifts.  Easy peasy.

3. Game night
Last night after a long, relaxing day Mike and I played another round of Monopoly.  The game actually lasted longer than I anticipated.  It was pretty clear from the start that Mike was going to win.  BUT--in a turn of events I KICKED HIS ASS.  It was a pretty fun night.  I snapped this picture of Nash because he is my side kick and never leaves my side.

Mike also made a fire yesterday.  He has been out chopping wood like crazy (even on Thanksgiving).  We have been having fires at least once a week.  It's been pretty nice and pretty cozy.

4. My new whip

This week we bought a VAN.  On Tuesday after my blog post we actually went out and purchased the van that I found.  We both felt that we got an incredible deal.  It is still strange to drive a van and the boys have not yet seen our "automatically mini van" but Owen is super excited.  Our payments are much lower and we even purchased the lifetime warranty.  Holy, I am such a mom.

5. Long weekends

It has been nice to just sit and relax.  I have done a bit of laundry, caught up on cleaning, and watched a 

lot of Parenthood.  I feel rested.  It is nice.  Mike and I have just been two adults with no children. 

This is from ballet last Monday.  It has become just part of the weekly routine.  I have a feeling I will be taking her to ballet or dance forever.  For that--I am grateful.

No pictures

It is Tuesday at 2pm and I am sitting down to write my blog for the day…one of my goals.  Here is a list of some of the things that I wanted to accomplish on my day off this week.

1. Meditate -- it's been waaaaaaayyyy to long
2. Clean bathrooms
3. Vacuum living room
4. Address Christmas cards
5. Pick out a new van
6. Purchase the van
7. Write blog post
8. Do dishes
9. Make 2 helpings of Sante Fe Soup
10. Eat a healthy lunch
11. Figure out more Christmas presents
12. Do laundry
13. Yoga

….and the list goes on….

I have accomplished a lot today and I have a lot more to do.  I find that I function so much better when I am in beast mode.  THOUGH I will say that lately I have relaxed and eased up a lot more and find more of an easier approach.

1. Clean bathrooms
This has been on my TO DO list for weeks.  Once I went to three days a week I tried to do a deep clean in the bathrooms every other week at least….but in the past month or so this has not happened.  It is gross.  Gross gross.  Since we are having Thanksgiving at our house it had to get accomplished and grateful that today was the day.

2. Time
Last night I had time to sit with Mike.  We just sat on the couch, talked, and listened to music.  He even made the comment, "Wow, I was thinking how cool we are…staying up late…listening to music…and it's only 8:20!"  The boys are at their dads this weekend and since Monday nights are usually insane with ballet for me it starts our week off running.  Last night I came home, had dinner, and just sat.  It was beautiful.

3. Heat in my car
Yesterday Shelby and I were working together and checking in a patient.  I was making small talk and asked about the weather.  Somehow we found out that this lady's car only had eat when it was moving and as soon as she touched the break freezing cold air would pour out.  Holy moly that sounds MISERABLE.  It instantly made me grateful for a working car and the money to repair a car in order to have heat.

4. Naps & my book
I am not sure I am going to be able to take a nap.  I mean, if I wanted to I could, I am in control over my own time.  It's between a nap and folding clothes.

So I just put the computer down, switched laundry over, and fired up the Kureg. Though I won't be taking a nap today, I am super grateful that I have the option.

5. Space heater
When the boys are not here I try to keep the heat down a few degrees.  I must say, happy for my space heater that is currently sitting immediately to my right and keeping me warm.

Date Day

1. Not in the car

Today I drove the boys to meet Greg.  We are doing the trip less frequently but because Mike and I went out of town last weekend and then the boys have Thanksgiving off I have made the trip back to back.  It wasn't fun.  Last weekend was a snowy mess and this weekend it POURED for the entire 3 hours.  Booooooo.  Extremely grateful to not be in my car and instead be sitting in my peaceful, silent house.

2. Date Day

Owen said to me today, "I love date day."  I do too.  It is a small amount of time that the boys get to be alone and do stuff that they want to do.  They get to be the center of attention and not have to share.  They get to be the only child.  Today Cameron went to the game with Mike and I took Owen to Monkey Joe's.  Which he has changed the name to Fun Monkey Joe's.  This time we also went to lunch.  Owen and I took my mom along.  

Though Owen had a BLAST and made a new friend who he played with for hours….I will say….I hope that is the last time that I ever go to Monkey Joe's without another adult.  Holy moly.  I LOVE LOVE to people watch but this place is miserable.  I want to be the good parent who follows my kid around but my kids are old enough and run every which way.  I can finally be the parent that sits and lets them play (which is amazing) but at this place time goes by extremely slowly.

Owen asked about Mike and Cameron a lot but he loved the time just the two of us.  I am so proud to be his mom.  Such a sweet boy.

 This was Owen's friend.  He was upset when we left because he thought I didn't get a picture of them. Little does he know….his mom is creepy. :)

3. Nesting
I have been doing random cleaning and organizing this weekend.  We live in pretty tight quarters.  The massive amount of DVDs that we own and NEVER watch get on my nerves.  My WONDERFUL husband organized them and made much better use of the space.  Clearly he is only doing it so I don't lose my mind….but I still think that it is great and that he is wonderful.  I am pretty thrilled that I have a bit more space.  We even watched a movie last night that we already owned.

My husband is the BEST.

4. Thankful Cards
Every year we sit down and make cards for the family and tell them why we are thankful for them.  When the boys were younger I wrote it out but it was still along the same concept.  Because we do so many different people it is pretty funny what type of responses that I receive from the boys.  Anyways, here is a picture of one step of our project.  Personally, I am so thankful that we do this every year AND that every year my kids want to add more people to make cards for.

5.  Baby Kicks
Jack has been kicking hard this weekend and constant….essentially non stop.  Last night both boys were able to cuddle and feel him kick.  Their faces just light up with excitement.  Today in the car Cameron asked me if JackJack was wearing clothes in my belly. When I said no he screamed and said, "WHAAAATT!!! He's NAKED!!!"  Both boys started dying in laughter and just couldn't believe it.

6. The gang
I purchased these two wonderful Starbucks drinks on my way home from work on Friday.  They gave us the boost that we needed to make it through the night.  We had the Harris children over for a slumber party.  Though the kids are all pretty good it is just a LOT of work to get a hold of all 4 kids while still letting them enjoy each other and not destroy the house.  We survived, they survived, and the house survived.  They were all even asleep by 845!!! They were then up at 545 am so it was a tad bit of payback.

Anyways, I was glad to cuddle with Sawyer and Eloise and have them a part of our lives.

Today

It has been a good day for me.  I have gotten almost NOTHING done but I feel great about the progress of my pregnancy and the state of our crazy family.  Our house is FILLED to the brim with giggles.  Don't get me wrong….we have our share of whining (more than our share)….but I also think that there are so many things that we are doing right.  So yes, a little shout out to the two of us as parents and partners.  Cheers to this crazy life.

1. 28 weeks…almost 29

At this appointment last pregnancy I was admitted to the hospital for a month and the boys ended up being two months early.  It has sort of been a black, nervous cloud that has hung over me and this pregnancy.  I work really hard (Mike works even harder) to make sure I rest a LOT.  Our work is paying off.  I was having contractions but after a handful of tests today I am in the clear!  Baby Rouzer is still cooking and still wonderfully safe in my belly.  We even got to listen to his heart beat for 30 minutes!  I think Mike almost had a heart attack through the whole ordeal and is now exhausted from carrying all the stress.  I on the other hand am THRILLED to be at home, playing games with the boys, and NOT in the hospital or on bed rest.

2.  Hot chocolate

It is a hot chocolate and apples type of night.  We are sitting in front of a Christmas movie and enjoying a special treat.  

3. The morning routine
Our mornings have gotten a LOT smoother.  It is because we get up a tad bit earlier to start getting ready and the boys have to get fully ready before coming out to breakfast.  Most mornings they have extra time to color or play.  Usually it is coloring since that is set up near the back door and they already have shoes on.  Though the mornings are going smoother we still have to wake the boys up almost every morning.  I will admit, 630 is not a fun wake up time.  This morning I was on the floor talking to Owen about video games and Cameron was still in bed.  He got out of bed but then I guess after a few steps decided he should just go back to sleep and laid next to his bed for awhile.  Silly boy.

4.  Christmas planning

Yesterday we ordered some gifts, ordered our Christmas cards and the boys even started coloring pictures for Santa.  Don't worry---we don't have our tree up and though we are hosting Thanksgiving again this year (due to the incredibly large size of our table) we don't have our menu planned.  But I must admit, getting pretty excited for the holidays.

I asked Cameron something that he was "happy about today."  Here was is his response.

Playing at school.  I asked him, what did he play at school…he said he didn't know.  Clearly I should know not to ask such questions before bed time.  

5. Our time

Grateful for today.  That we can all be in the same room.  That we can play games, laugh and share space.  Grateful for today.

Snow

1. Baby Shower

This weekend we had a baby shower in Columbus.  It was a GREAT weekend.  Pat got a room at McCormicks & Schmicks and it was fabulous.  These are the only three pictures that I took of the day.  There were tons of people there that we never get to see and some who I have never even met.  It was a whirlwind.  We left with full hearts and a trunk filled with amazing gifts for Jack.  We are incredibly grateful.

2. Mike McGuire
After the drive back from Columbus I made the drive to go get the boys from Greg.  They hit traffic on the way from Chicago and we had our first snow of the season and it was a terrible drive both ways for me….BUT while I was waiting for them at McDonalds I accidentally left my key in the ignition and killed my battery.  Mike jumped my car in the dark, freezing cold snow storm.  Insanely grateful.  Because of all these hiccups I got home pretty late.  The boys fell asleep in the car (which RARELY happens anymore) and we made it safely.  Thank you Mike!

3. Emma
On Thursday night I gave the boys a kiss goodnight and while saying goodnight to Nash I quickly realized that we did not have any plans for him while we were out of town.  We were planning on leaving less than 24 hours later so I found myself making some late calls.  Emma immediately said that she was available and even took Nash to her house.  My parents did Friday so I don't want to miss their shout out as well.  Thank you!!

4. Christmas shopping
I love to buy gifts for other people but I can't believe it is that time of year again.  Today we made a short trip to Toys R Us once we got back in town and it proved to be pretty successful.  First, it wasn't insanely crowded and second we actually made some good decisions.  Hopefully the shopping season will continue to go smoothly.

5. 28 weeks
We made it to 28 weeks and we are not in the hospital.  I hope to just keep plugging along.  Yay!!!

It's been a week.

There are a LOT of pictures in this post.  As always it was a busy week, both good and bad.  Many times this week I wanted to get onto the blog and just bitch.  Clearly I didn't because that would totally go against my end goal…but it was that type of week.  Although there were times that took lots of energy from my bones, there were also the everyday happenings that keeps my soul alive.  For that, I am grateful.

1. Eric Carle
Cameron has a man crush on Eric Carle.  He is a writer and illustrator for children's books.  If you ask Cameron he knows all about him.  This week at school he did a tissue paper spiderman just to imitate Eric Carle.  Mrs. Gies was so impressed she showed it to the other teachers and it is now up on the wall.  I must say, I am pretty impressed myself.

2.  Sunday Fun-day
This Sunday I made spaghetti squash.  I tried it a new way.  And I must say…I am not interested in eating anything healthy right now.  I clearly TRY but I would much rather have the real carbs.  It is a terrible thing and you will see in the full body pictures below it is not doing me well….but it's the truth. And though I can't handle the squash, I am LOVING my carbs.

We also let the boys spend their birthday money.  They each bought Legos.  Most of their money is being saved but they were also able to splurge a bit.  Owen was able to sit and do most of it himself.  Cameron on the other hand was being lazy and Mike pretty much did the entire thing.  Regardless, we all enjoyed the day.

3. Wonderful things

So today I decided to take pictures of some of the wonderful things that I am indulging in since clearly salads and squash are not cutting it.  (Unless the salad has lots of cheese, bacon, and ranch dressing…then it is just fine!)  These are two insanely, special occasion indulgences.  And they are heavenly and wonderful.  Oh, and the special occasion…..I am pregnant and can't drink wine or work out…..  

I had this gelato at Erin's after Eloise was born.  I have not had it since.  I recently found a coupon and decided to treat the house.  And when I say house, I mean that I had a few bites this afternoon and I will be surprised if it lasts until tomorrow evening.  Mike will finish it off.

4. Dentists, shots, and it's finally over….
The boys were beasts at their check up but having to get ANOTHER shot this week sent all three of us over the edge.  They were an absolute mess.  They still survived and I caved and bought stupid toys from Kroger.  This evening they had Dentist appointments.  They LOVE going to the dentist so it makes it a super easy trip.  The boys did great (besides all the farting….)

Anyways, glad all of the torture is over for now.

5. Story time
I think that this was my favorite part of the week.  Today I went to their school and read to their classrooms.  They were soooooooo excited to see me.  Cameron even broke down a bit and teared up when we had to leave.  They had huge smiles from ear to ear and were excited to show off their rooms.  We were there for less than 30 minutes total but it really brought happiness to my day.  I feel so so so grateful that I am able to do this with them.

6.  Mike

He got us through another week.  Grateful for his hard work and love for our family.  He does almost all of the work in our house, insists that I get rest, and the boys are obsessed with his silliness.  Together we have truly filled our home with joy.  We are lucky.

Eloise Birthday

1. Eloise's birthday party

Today we celebrated Eloise's third birthday at the Children's Museum.  We haven't been there in awhile and we ended up staying for 5 hours!  It was exhausting but wonderful.  The boys had a great time and now they are sleeping like rocks.  

2. Family Time
We make sure to sit down with the kids and play games.  Tonight we introduced a new game which I believe is called Pass the Pigs.  Basically you roll two pigs and whatever way they land you receive points.  Pretty simple and easy and they boys loved it.  Somehow during the middle of the game they ended up pulling stickers off each other and sticking them on their faces.  I snapped a quick picture…but you can also see the little pigs on the table.

3. Cleaning & Organizing
Tonight I was able to organize Jack's room a bit and try and organize some of the house.  We are getting pretty tight in this space so I want to make sure that we don't have a lot of STUFF.  Tonight I made a few more small strides and it makes me happy.

4. Cups with straws
I love drinking juice and water out of my cups with a straw.  I drink a TON more fluids this way.  I always have one of these by my side.

5. Hearts of gold
The boys are really sensitive and respectful of other peoples feelings (most of the time).  When others around them get upset they always check to make sure that they are ok.  If they hear concern in our voices they notice and ask.  So for example today at the museum Maggie got upset and Josh took her out of the room for bit.  When she came back she was with Laurie and Cameron went up to her and in a sweet voice said, "Are you ok Maggie."  It was just simple and sweet and made me proud.

No 5 tonight

A photo diary of a few bits of the week….

 I have started to become obsessed with egg salad.  I add arugula and avocado.  I don't know how someone can not love this.  I make a lot and eat a lot.  Yesterday Mike came home for lunch but today I ate by myself and sent him a picture so he could act like we were on a date.  

We had a great 5 year check up today.  I am super proud of these two and they didn't cry when they had to get two shots!!  Holy smokes…..  They had tears in their eyes but fought them back.  My children are beasts! 

 This was in the waiting room at the doctor appointment.  We had a 730 appointment so we were the only ones in the waiting room.  This is how the boys decided to watch TV.  Strange.

 Owen loves to run and he is super fast so he likes it even more.  There is a full size football field at the park that we play at.  If you look closely you can see Owen running to the goal post.  He ran down, around the goal post and back in 90 seconds.  He is so stinking cute and so competitive.  

 On Tuesday night we went out to dinner.  This is a RARE RARE occurrence.  We haven't gone out to dinner in close to a year with just the four of us.  Clearly the picture is of Mike, Owen and a fried pickle.  The boys were great and it was a perfect night.  

I have started going to dance class with Eloise and my mom on Monday nights.  It is a mommy and me dance class where the moms participate.  The room is essentially wall to wall mirrors.  It is sort of horrific to be honest to be forced to see yourself from every angle but I get to spend time with this sweet girl which is very important.

The past few days have been rough though as you can see from our pictures it has been a pretty good week overall.  As I sit here Jack is kicking me like crazy. The boys are in bed and asleep and it's 8pm.  All week they have been asleep by 745.  But in the thick of my heart it has been rough.  My soul feels heavy and my courage is nonexistent.  The only word that I can use to describe it is "frustrating." Besides that I have no more words.  The emptiness that we have in our family after Erin has left is unbearable to think about at times.  The mom that her two sweet ones experienced on a day to day basis is gone.  And that is sad.  I think my heart is so heavy for them.  That they have this loss.  That they miss the hugs the cuddles and the sweet songs that only a mom can hold in her heart.  That every night I read my boys stories, tuck them in and do kisses….they don't get that from their mom.  In the morning when we wake up at the break of dawn I hold them and just sit there and hold them.  They don't get that from their mom.  And Jess, he is wonderful, but I can't imagine how much he is hurting.  He is exhausted, worn down, emotionally & physically drained and just trying to make it to the next day.  It is just sad.  It's all just really sad.  And I really miss Erin.  I miss my best friend and my sister.